Embarrassing Stories

[bigcheez2k3]

Tell us your embarrassing, and lol-worthy stories. This is partly inspired by the Pistonheads thread Puggy linked to and the below.

Was out Saturday night with some friends, while in the pub one of the girls says we'll be meeting some of her friends in the club we were headed to, so I think here we go Get in the club and she says 'Oh you follow her on instagram' 'Do I?' So bring her insta up on my phone and proceed to show my mate. At the same point I'm introduced to her friend so I wave...with the hand that my phone is in, that is currently displaying her pics

Some quick thinking on my behalf and I think I got away with it. Definitely left an impression and she even stroked the beard

---

It's made worse by the fact that I kinda want her

[Poodle]

Spotted my boss chatting to a serious hottie and leered a bit before getting bored and wandering off to resume work. An hour or so later was doing an MOT with him and brought it up in conversation...
"Oh, who was that bit you were chatting up earlier?"
"What bit?"
"The classy-looking brunette with glasses, just my type"
"Are you talking about my daughter?"

Shit.

Aside from the fact that he's my boss, he's a big fucker who regularly ends bar brawls just because he can. Thankfully he was in a good mood and pissed himself laughing at the look of terror on my face, and told me i had good taste, but should keep it to myself.

[THE_Liam]

OK, admittedly when this all happened I was very drunk, but that's no excuse, easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me...

Backstory - I met a lass at a house party at my mates, a mate of a lass he went to college with, long story short we had a lot of beer and I ended up doing her in the garage. She wasn't much of a looker and was pretty boring, and thick, so being the mischievous chap (lady garden) that I am I gave her the number of a local takeaway instead of mine and told her to phone me the next day. Heard from my mate who'd heard from the lass at college that she'd phoned me while some of her mates were in the room and ended up pretty embarrassed, and now hated me. Fair play, never gonna see her again.

Story - So, I'm in a club in Leeds about 6 months later trying to pull a lass who was way out of my league (f*ck it, if you're gonna fail, fail properly), and things were actually going half alright until she goes back to her table, where it turns out the lass I'd shagged was sat, then all of a sudden the lass I was chatting up gives me the cold shoulder. As she's walking away, I see the lass I'd shagged waving her little finger in that "hung like a mouse" gesture. Me being pissed, I thought it'd be a great idea to walk over, inform the whole table that she's a liar, and whip out my johnson and bang it on the table...

Bitch slammed a pint glass down on it. Cue me howling in pain, falling over a chair, then seeing my mates laughing...

It's true what they say, time is a funny thing. At the time I was dying of embarrassment, but now it's just a funny story. Does help that a few weeks later one of the lasses at the table that night offered to take me home and make it feel better

[karl1989]

Liam lmfao you legend

[Matt]

There's a few for me from dum dums birthday last year...

[Grant]

There's also some embarrassing stories from the xmas meet between you and Jonny!!

[THE_Liam]

There's a few for me from dum dums birthday last year...

There's also some embarrassing stories from the xmas meet between you and Jonny!!

Get telling then lads!

[Grant]

I'm sworn to secrecy. Matt can tell, not that I can see he will want to

[Niall]

There's also some embarrassing stories from the xmas meet between you and Jonny!!

Nope that was also Dumdums birthday lol

[kentiiboii]

There's a few for me from dum dums birthday last year...

There's also some embarrassing stories from the xmas meet between you and Jonny!!

I'm sworn to secrecy. Matt can tell, not that I can see he will want to

There's also some embarrassing stories from the xmas meet between you and Jonny!!

Nope that was also Dumdums birthday lol

You all suck of your not telling!

Not sure if this is embarrassing but I remember giving my ex one on her bed about midnight, the bedroom door was open a bit and light was on. we was rather enjoying our selfs when all of a sudden just heard her mum asking if we could turn the tv down from other side of the door!

Don't know if we had been caught but I couldn't stop laughing either way!

[Niall]

ok so i was in bed with the missus one morning when she decides that she wants to tie me to the bed. Didn't bother me! Heard a car pull up outside and beep but thought nothing of it. Then hear someone coming up the stairs....again, think nothing of it. Probably just her brother going to his room so we carry on. Then a knock on the door. As soon as i looked into her eyes, i knew exactly what she was going to do...she panics for a few seconds, then just shouts 'come in" as she leaps off me barely leaving me with enough covers to cover my crotch. Her mum walks in to find me tied to the bed barely covered up to tell the missus that her driving instructor is outside. Breakfast that morning was awkward.

[Dum-Dum]

I remember very little of my birthday. Just about to do an invite for this years for the same again as last year was incredible.

I have many many embarrassing stories that really aren't suitable for here.

[MrMemzi]

I work for my family business of dry cleaning. So as you can imagine you need to be able to handle banter as the oldies love it. So Im quite a chatty guy. Well anyway. A lady comes in to the shop with her buggy. Puts some bits on the counter she wants altered and we start chatting. Everything completely normal. After booking everything in about to say bye and thanks. I mentioned is she baby sitting as shes quite old and lent over the counter to do silly baby talk. The woman has said nothing at this point. I then realise it was a kids dolly. She replied with no shes mine. Smiles and walks out...to the amusement of the people behind her that knew all along. That this woman was a crazy from the local mental home! Whoops

[Tom]

This is getting a little weird.

[Matt]

I remember very little of my birthday. Just about to do an invite for this years for the same again as last year was incredible.

I have many many embarrassing stories that really aren't suitable for here.

Probably best you don't remember. I wish I didn't haha

[LewisG306]

I thought I would add to this ...

First time I have ever bumped a car , I managed to reverse into 25ft lamp post at the team 440 meet in castleford on sunday. About 40-50 caught me do it.

very embarassing....

[Jonny81191]

Probably best you don't remember. I wish I didn't haha

Ditto. It was a truly epic night out though. The OC lads were on top form!

[bigcheez2k3]

It gets better!

It seems I also follow her sister on instagram, and I've been talking her on bbm this week...except I didn't know this until last night when the sister says 'Oh you met my sister in the club a few weeks ago and she just saw you on my bbm'. I've done my explaining and I'm pretty sure I can never see these people ever again

[John1.4]

holding up the tailgate on my first ax, undoing the bolts so i can add the gt spoiler, wind catches it and the glass smashes leaving me holding up the plastic bit followed by howls of laughter from the local 'chav rude booaaay who thinks he's amazing' in his mums 3 cyl 1.0 corsa with 5 of his mates hanging out the windows... made me feel microscopic.

i felt bad about it until a few weeks later when mr rude boy (smashed drunk, naked and on speed) crashes into my parents people carrier in said corsa at around 50mph leaving a dented bumper on ours and about a million bits of a corsa on the road, wanders over to the cops who've just arrived and takes an almighty swing at the most burly cop and gets cs'd... was laughing at him for a while after that...

[Paul_13]

Sounds like your area is nice

[John1.4]

lol royston near Barnsley.. awesome

me and my family moved away to the east coast 3 years ago now

[Eeyore]

Whilst At uni: So I had come out of a relationship and joined some dating website. Found someone who went to uni near me and also lived where my parents live. Soted I thought. Sent a few messages and she apologized and said that her friends had setup the account as a joke! D:

A year later: I was at work teaching the kids how to sail. At lunch time I see a girl and think she looks really familiar. Spend about 3 weeks trying to work out how I know her and make a few attempts to say hi but always given the cold shoulder. Yep it was the same girl I had met on the website! And then I had to work on the same place as her for 2 years D: Awkward!

[itone24]

These stories are awesome, this "birthday" sounds pretty epic lol!

[procta]

Whilst At uni: So I had come out of a relationship and joined some dating website. Found someone who went to uni near me and also lived where my parents live. Soted I thought. Sent a few messages and she apologized and said that her friends had setup the account as a joke! D:

A year later: I was at work teaching the kids how to sail. At lunch time I see a girl and think she looks really familiar. Spend about 3 weeks trying to work out how I know her and make a few attempts to say hi but always given the cold shoulder. Yep it was the same girl I had met on the website! And then I had to work on the same place as her for 2 years D: Awkward!

I have something similar,
3 years ago, I had to get the police involved for my gran, as her pension was going out the door, she lived in sheltered accommodation at the time.
anyway the officer that came to chat to me about it, was a nice brown eyed blonde with fake tan, Every mans dream!
after we went down to chat to me gran, she radioed for a lift back, her lift was going to be about 10 mins, so I offered to stay with her to keep her company.
so we had a bit crack on, she asked where I worked, and I asked how long she been with the police.
she said next time I see you, I will tell you to get me some sweets, or point at you with and say there's Andy Procta, I told her feel free, she laughed.
she wasn't from the sunderland area sadly, but from either new castle or south shields.
anyway, a few weeks later, at work. I was working with one of lasses who knows I like the blondes as well as the brunettes.
we were working down one of the aisles, that had a DVD promo on at the time.
any 3 for a tenner or somert.
I walked out of the aisle and this blonde lass stops me, and asks where the dvds were.
so I took her to the ones we had in the aisle as they were promo and practically the same at music and video.
I got this feeling that I recognised her from some where, and her voice was familiar to, but I couldn't place where. the lass I worked winding me up with me liking blondes, the lass could hear too, I thought here we go. I said I will move the comp out of the way, so that you can see. as soon as moved the comp out of the way, the lass I worked with said, you and blondes. well the lass started laughing didn't she!
all I could reply with at the time to the lass I was working with at the time, was very funny.
after that event, the lass I was working with, said to me, you and the blonde lass at the same sparkle in your eyes, when you looked at each other.
Then I tigged on, it was the copper that came to see me about me gran money problem.
I found out that the copper was single too later on too, some I know, knew her, and said I should have had bit flirt with her.
sad thing is I never saw the copper in shopping again.

[Seb_Ryan]

Procta, should of got her badge no. Rang up police station and said you have some info for officer **** and left your address for her to pick it up lol

[procta]

Procta, should of got her badge no. Rang up police station and said you have some info for officer **** and left your address for her to pick it up lol

i wish i had thought of that back then.

[Just Sean]

I fell asleep on the motorway and rolled an astor 6

/thread

[silverzx]

Mines too bad to say on a public forum..

[Just Sean]

^^^BOLLOCKS

[silverzx]

^^^BOLLOCKS

It did involve my bollocks.. And cock.. And a lot of people.. Enough said.