My big hole ;)

[Alee83]

Dear Alex
I'm so sorry to learn of your grievance with my self. As a apology, I will issue your account with a 50% warning for 24 hours. You do not have to do anything. This will come into affect in a short while. I hope this shows are gratitude to your long served time on this forum and we hope you continue abusing other members and trying to be helpful.

Sincerely
Your mum.

Dear Niall,

If we're playing that game, I have a few provisos I wish to bring to your attention.

Please peruse the following amendments that would assist the more educated population in achieving a greater understanding of the hilarious point you are trying to make.

Dear Alex

Please use a comma following the target recipient's name.

As a apology

Grammatically it should be termed "an" apology. A better way of phrasing it would be "By way of an apology".

I will issue your account with a 50% warning for 24 hours. You do not have to do anything. This will come into affect in a short while.

Whilst not specifically spelling or grammar related, the terms set out in this agreement state the obvious in so far as "you do not have to do anything". A better way to structure the terms would be "A decision between your peers has been reached and the outcome is that your account will be issued with a 50% warning, lasting for twenty four hours, which will come into effect (not affect) shortly. As this is a final decision you have no right to appeal; as such you do not need to take any further action yourself."

I hope this shows are gratitude to your long served time on this forum and we hope you continue abusing other members and trying to be helpful.

Firstly, the warning would show our gratitude, not are. Secondly, your sentence structuring again needs some work so as not to come across poorly educated, or in extreme cases as a poor person in general. Next time, try "We hope that the aforementioned warning acts to demonstrate our gratitude as Forum Staff for your long standing membership and thoroughly useful contributions to the community. We do not however condone sarcasm, hilarious memes or the act of being ginger."

Sincerely
Your mum.

You missed the "xxxwhilstsuckingforumcockxxx".

I would finally like to suggest that I should become a member of the Forum Staff as I believe I would prove to be a valuable cog in the banter machine.

Please do consider this a formal application, I eagerly await your response.

Yours sincerely and forever more,

Marty
xx

WTF....

And he's Scottish!!