So now I think I understand...

[StarBenn]

Not sure if this is helpful but I had a similar problem to yourself.

Skip all the stuff you've written, I told her how much I liked her and well, it still is the best decision I ever made. I too have been hurt and it took an awful amount of effort to force the words from my mouth. Her response was a kiss, an incredible kiss, followed by 'about time I thought you'd never tell me!'

It's at all possible she knows and is waiting for you. I hope for you this works out as well for you as it did for me. The whole thing sounds like I could have written exactly what you have in this thread.

Best of luck!