19-08-2012, 01:12 AM
The best thing about it...I have just blogged a whole lot about all my feelings all on a page...Yet I can't publish it.
The reason being I'm nervous in case it posts to Facebook etc and she sees the things I have written, if anybody wants to read that page please comment and I will PM it. Kinda explains a whole heap of stuff but the only thing I can excerpt from it that explains the way I am feeling:
"It all routes right back to the beginning, my shyness, low self esteem and my countless rejections. I really want to tell this girl my feelings, but just cant through fear of losing her completely.
This girl within 2 weeks has become the centre of my world my Magma Core, the whole reason I enjoy going to sleep because I dream of her in all her flawed perfection. She is the Ying to my Yang. The Ben to my Jerry's. She is everything I have ever dreamed of and more in a female, she has the looks, personality, sense of humour. She is perfect and I want her so badly to be an even bigger part of my life, I want to be able to soothe away her troubles, be her shoulder to cry on but most of all I want to be her best friend and lover. I want to be the reason she gets up in the morning as she is mine. Yet I can't tell her because if I do and f*ck it up I lose her friendship too. All at the same time I can't bare not to tell her as so many times I have been friend-zoned.
Come on people pray for me, pray for this to work out and for me to be able to work on my self-esteem and achieve my goal of becoming a part of this wonderful girl's life I want to be able to look back on my last day and say "That moment was the perfect one, the one we all search for yet so many of us never find. Well I have found mine, and throughout my years of failures, countless imperfections and mountains that I have climbed, You are the needle in my haystack."
If anyone wants to read the full essay, all 810 words of it I am happy to share!
The reason being I'm nervous in case it posts to Facebook etc and she sees the things I have written, if anybody wants to read that page please comment and I will PM it. Kinda explains a whole heap of stuff but the only thing I can excerpt from it that explains the way I am feeling:
"It all routes right back to the beginning, my shyness, low self esteem and my countless rejections. I really want to tell this girl my feelings, but just cant through fear of losing her completely.
This girl within 2 weeks has become the centre of my world my Magma Core, the whole reason I enjoy going to sleep because I dream of her in all her flawed perfection. She is the Ying to my Yang. The Ben to my Jerry's. She is everything I have ever dreamed of and more in a female, she has the looks, personality, sense of humour. She is perfect and I want her so badly to be an even bigger part of my life, I want to be able to soothe away her troubles, be her shoulder to cry on but most of all I want to be her best friend and lover. I want to be the reason she gets up in the morning as she is mine. Yet I can't tell her because if I do and f*ck it up I lose her friendship too. All at the same time I can't bare not to tell her as so many times I have been friend-zoned.
Come on people pray for me, pray for this to work out and for me to be able to work on my self-esteem and achieve my goal of becoming a part of this wonderful girl's life I want to be able to look back on my last day and say "That moment was the perfect one, the one we all search for yet so many of us never find. Well I have found mine, and throughout my years of failures, countless imperfections and mountains that I have climbed, You are the needle in my haystack."
If anyone wants to read the full essay, all 810 words of it I am happy to share!
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Member of Team Holey Engine