306oc - Peugeot 306 Owners Club & Forum › General › The Couch v
Terrible Christmas Jokes

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Terrible Christmas Jokes
samass Offline
Colin McSamass

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 7,152
Threads: 130
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 82
Location: Kingston
Car Model/Spec: 106 GO-NAD
#1
25-12-2012, 03:42 PM
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?



He was looking forward to Christmas Rofl



whatve you got?
[Image: k6f9Fk]


Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
Find
Niall Offline
Professional Cpt. Crayola
Administrators
Posts: 19,854
Threads: 581
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 195
Location: Bournemouth
Car Model/Spec: Supercharged 306 GTi6
Facebook LinkedIn YouTube
#2
25-12-2012, 03:44 PM
Whilst not a joke, there is actually a reason why christmas cracker jokes are made to be so bad on purpose! Any ideas?
Team Eaton


1999 China Blue 306 GTi6 - Eaton Supercharged - 214.5bhp 181lbft
Website Find
ozonehostile Offline
Turning into a 306

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 5,946
Threads: 141
Joined: Oct 2012
Reputation: 35
Location: Herefordshire
Car Model/Spec: 106 rallye, GTi6, Hdi dturbo
#3
25-12-2012, 03:45 PM
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?


in case they get a hole in one
Current stable
'09 Mercedes E320cdi wagon 
'99 306 gti6
Find
Daniel306 Offline
Starting to Live for the 306
Posts: 1,497
Threads: 177
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 3
Location: Highlands, Scotland
#4
25-12-2012, 03:45 PM
There have been reports of a white haired man in a strange outfit going around emptying his sack in children's bedrooms across the country.

Jimmy Savilles at it again!
Find
samass Offline
Colin McSamass

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 7,152
Threads: 130
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 82
Location: Kingston
Car Model/Spec: 106 GO-NAD
#5
25-12-2012, 03:47 PM
How does Rudolf know when its Christmas?


HE looks at his calen-deer
[Image: k6f9Fk]


Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
Find
Matt Offline
AKA Dexter AKA Sugar
Posts: 14,208
Threads: 448
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 51
Location: isle of wight
Car Model/Spec: Pov. Spec White '6
#6
25-12-2012, 03:59 PM
What's the funniest job



A fisherman, hes always dropping lines
[Image: 20A1806D-891D-40FB-BD52-AD519177A607-734...391753.jpg]
TEAM CONROD SHITTING RALLYE!
Find
samass Offline
Colin McSamass

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 7,152
Threads: 130
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 82
Location: Kingston
Car Model/Spec: 106 GO-NAD
#7
25-12-2012, 04:07 PM
What did the rug say to the floor?


Don't move, I've got you covered!
[Image: k6f9Fk]


Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
Find
306carter Offline
Active Member
Posts: 594
Threads: 25
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 3
Location: Leeds
Car Model/Spec: Vectra & Berlingo
#8
25-12-2012, 04:42 PM
(25-12-2012, 03:45 PM)ozonehostile Wrote: Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?


in case they get a hole in one

Just had the same one.
Find
londondan86 Offline
Living for the 306
Posts: 1,833
Threads: 91
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 12
Location: Wrexham
Car Model/Spec: 306 D Turbo
#9
25-12-2012, 05:25 PM
What do you call an underground train full of professors?

A tube of smarties!
Supercharged XUD Project - Dead

HDi Cabby Project Click
Find
Daniel306 Offline
Starting to Live for the 306
Posts: 1,497
Threads: 177
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 3
Location: Highlands, Scotland
#10
25-12-2012, 05:56 PM
The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.

They say they can no longer trust any children's TV star who claims to be able to fix it.
Find
karl1989 Offline
Living for the 306
Posts: 2,105
Threads: 170
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 5
Location: west yorkshire
Car Model/Spec: xud 1.9 dturbo
#11
25-12-2012, 06:58 PM
christmas cracker so called jokes

what do you call a sheep that has been struck by lightning?

electric blanket!

what do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?

frostbite!

what do you call a camel with three humps?

humphrey!
Venetian XUD ph2 heaven
Ph3 perv cab heaven
Black ph1 XUD died

Moonstone hdi stage 2
Find
puglove Offline
Turning into a 306
Posts: 8,749
Threads: 208
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 60
Location: Wiltshire
Car Model/Spec: ph2 Gti6 / ph4 HDI Estate
#12
25-12-2012, 07:53 PM
I've just bought the BBC advent calendar.

Every time I open a door, I have to pretend I haven't seen Jimmy Savile abusing a child.

[Image: DSC_0190-Copy_zpsf093f84d.jpg]
Member of 99% warning or your nothing club!

Website Find
Danny2009 Offline
RWD convert
Posts: 3,342
Threads: 151
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 14
Location: Rotherham
Car Model/Spec: 306 D-turbo
#13
25-12-2012, 07:57 PM
Why did the microscope cross the road?

To get to the other side

They get worse every year
[Image: image_zps45f2003b.jpg]

Team Doesn't own a 306
Find
samass Offline
Colin McSamass

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 7,152
Threads: 130
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 82
Location: Kingston
Car Model/Spec: 106 GO-NAD
#14
25-12-2012, 08:00 PM
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?


It was stuck to the chicken
[Image: k6f9Fk]


Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
Find
InkedMuttley Offline
Active Member
Posts: 577
Threads: 73
Joined: May 2012
Reputation: 6
Location: Skegness
Car Model/Spec: Shitbox Polo 1.0
#15
25-12-2012, 08:14 PM
Seriously people need to quit with the Jimmy Saville jokes the man was a legend...I mean hundreds of kids wrote in saying they didn't want to be virgins anymore, he fixed it for them didn't he!
Member of Team Rather be Gay than Ginger

Member of Team Holey Engine

[Image: IM_sig.jpg]
Find
ozonehostile Offline
Turning into a 306

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 5,946
Threads: 141
Joined: Oct 2012
Reputation: 35
Location: Herefordshire
Car Model/Spec: 106 rallye, GTi6, Hdi dturbo
#16
25-12-2012, 08:23 PM
I don't understand why everyone has such a downer on jimmy saville, when i was 8 he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded
Current stable
'09 Mercedes E320cdi wagon 
'99 306 gti6
Find
Daniel306 Offline
Starting to Live for the 306
Posts: 1,497
Threads: 177
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 3
Location: Highlands, Scotland
#17
25-12-2012, 08:26 PM
They read that out on the radio
Find
ozonehostile Offline
Turning into a 306

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 5,946
Threads: 141
Joined: Oct 2012
Reputation: 35
Location: Herefordshire
Car Model/Spec: 106 rallye, GTi6, Hdi dturbo
#18
25-12-2012, 08:32 PM
(25-12-2012, 08:26 PM)Daniel306 Wrote: They read that out on the radio

yeah, thought that was brilliant haha
Current stable
'09 Mercedes E320cdi wagon 
'99 306 gti6
Find
kingy Offline
Living for the 306

Registered users - Donated
Posts: 4,193
Threads: 117
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation: 21
Location: in the pub
Car Model/Spec: needs bwarrrp.
#19
25-12-2012, 08:34 PM
Eddie stobart has just released his new movie..

I havnt seen the film yet but the trailer looks good.
[Image: newsig_zpsee86fa10.jpg]
Find
InkedMuttley Offline
Active Member
Posts: 577
Threads: 73
Joined: May 2012
Reputation: 6
Location: Skegness
Car Model/Spec: Shitbox Polo 1.0
#20
25-12-2012, 08:46 PM
Looks like my wife is cooking a Cypriot Christmas dinner this year.

Half turkey, half Greece.
Member of Team Rather be Gay than Ginger

Member of Team Holey Engine

[Image: IM_sig.jpg]
Find
Matt Offline
AKA Dexter AKA Sugar
Posts: 14,208
Threads: 448
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation: 51
Location: isle of wight
Car Model/Spec: Pov. Spec White '6
#21
25-12-2012, 10:28 PM
(25-12-2012, 07:57 PM)Danny2009 Wrote: Why did the microscope cross the road?

To get to the other side

They get worse every year

Surly it's other slide?
[Image: 20A1806D-891D-40FB-BD52-AD519177A607-734...391753.jpg]
TEAM CONROD SHITTING RALLYE!
Find


Possibly Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  First post/thread of Christmas! Merry Christmas! Dum-Dum 36 19,981 08-12-2014, 07:17 AM
Last Post: Matt
  bare jokes fam impotentials 52 22,217 21-09-2014, 08:40 AM
Last Post: toseland
  Wilwood 4 pots. roll on the 4 pot jokes. Pompey306mark 10 7,207 23-09-2012, 06:08 AM
Last Post: Pompey306mark

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)