Unconventional Income

[7057sam]

Tom I personally think it's your ocd/ibs problems which you need to look at and then you can look at/into different job,other wise you ll always be a prisoner to it.

Have you talked to your GP about dieting situations,sound weird but would you ever hypnotherapy ??

[Poodle]

I think JJ has got his words dead right tbh Tom, you've got it very easy in real-world terms. I want to emphasise the point because it's a large part of the problem, you have no drive because you have no need for it - you can get along in your current situation. Just try sticking something out for long enough to be successful at it, maybe then you'll understand what all the fuss is about, it IS worth it.

[Toms306]

Tom I personally think it's your ocd/ibs problems which you need to look at and then you can look at/into different job,other wise you ll always be a prisoner to it.

Have you talked to your GP about dieting situations,sound weird but would you ever hypnotherapy ??

I agree, but its a long process, a lot of trial and error and neither of those will ever be 'fixed' in fact I was made aware by the therapist that some things you just have to learn to live with and work around.  


As I've said over and over in this thread, if I get a home situation that I can cope with, I can then start working on changing diet, having a set routine for meals and toilet and lowering anxiety - all of which will help towards reducing IBS - I say reducing as it'll never fully go.

I can also start properly on CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and ERP (exposure response therapy).  I am trying those atm, but it just doesn't work in this situation so isn't really making much progress.  The only progress I've made is with getting out further, but that's really gone as far as it can in this situation as well now, I'm really just trying to maintain the progress that I had made now.

The GP wasn't overly helpful, basically I recorded a food diary but it wasn't useful with no routine and high anxiety, couldn't pin point any specific foods and was told to come back when I have a routine and have reduced anxiety levels.

[swampy]

Tom I don't really know you and please don't take this the wrong way but you have to get a grip

My wife and my mother in law both suffer from ibs, Infact my mother in law has something like it but worse and guess what both of them hold down full time jobs !

Life goes on.

One comment from all this that sticks in my mind is if you don't like doing something ( a job) then you won't do it , but guess what I bet there is a high percentage of people on here who hate the job try do but they have bills to pay, people to feed and cars to run so they carry on with them until something better / they want to be doing comes along.

You might if covered it before but you seem to get money from somewhere you certainly go through your cars , I know of people with a full time job that cannot afford to chop and change cars line you do it have cars as new as you do.

You want to start thinking about the future as the national insurance that most of us pay will eventually run out, then there will be no pension ( you need 35 years of payments to get a state pension) and when the pension goes the free nAtional health service will go aswell and the. You will be in to private medical care and that won't come cheap!

I could go on but if I said half of what I want to say I would be banned from the forum

[Toms306]

I think JJ has got his words dead right tbh Tom, you've got it very easy in real-world terms. I want to emphasise the point because it's a large part of the problem, you have no drive because you have no need for it - you can get along in your current situation. Just try sticking something out for long enough to be successful at it, maybe then you'll understand what all the fuss is about, it IS worth it.

In all honesty, and this is off topic for the thread, I lack drive because I'm scared of the future...what happens after I move out and can hopefully work?  Say I can earn enough to support myself.  I'm still the same boring, miserable lady garden just in a different place and feeling less guilt about wasting resources that I cant pay for.  I'll still have phobias around medical stuff, still be permanently worried about illness and injury and its inevitable at some point I'll have to visit the dentist/hospital which is an inevitability that I never could cope with, even back in primary school.  I don't want holidays or houses or fast cars...and I don't understand relationships so wouldn't inflict myself on some poor girl.  I'm certainly not going to carry on the human race or make a positive contribution to society which is why we're all here surely.  

I really am trying to be positive about the present/short term, and ignore the long term future and hope something changes if/when I get out and get working....but its always at the back of my mind.  Plus I spend a lot of time with older people, its horrible, always thought retirement would be good but its just full of illness and ailments, lonliness, boredom etc...  Just makes you wonder what the point is.  I doubt anyone on here will agree but that's my opinion. 

I don't think I've been successful at anything, no matter how long I work at it.

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One comment from all this that sticks in my mind is if you don't like doing something ( a job) then you won't do it , but guess what I bet there is a high percentage of people on here who hate the job try do but they have bills to pay, people to feed and cars to run so they carry on with them until something better / they want to be doing comes along.

I never said this at all, I don't understand where the idea came from!

I do things I don't like all day every day.  For example I worked in a supermarket, customer facing, which I hated from day 1 but managed to keep it going for almost a year until I just couldn't cope with it any more.  I do gardening for old people in summer despite terrible hayfever.  If I only did things I like doing, I'd never do anything.


What do your wife and MIL do out of interest?  I'm guessing they aren't trapped on a till all day for example...it does reduce the sort of job you can do.  I know plenty of people with IBS or similar who do work.

Re - chopping and changing cars, it costs sod all if you do it properly, never understand people that cant chop and change low end cars. The only exception to that was the Focus, where my Nan gave half towards it (so it only cost me what I sold the Vec for, and I bought the Vec with what I broke the Golf and HDi estate for and it goes back like that). Nan wanted to help my situation but will not fund moving out because she hates being on her own and does not understand why I would want to be. I and my sister were given a similar amount as a sort of partial early inheritance to get a better car, not that its really of relevance to this thread. What is, is that I chose the car to have very low running costs so that I could run it on a small budget but still retain reliability, refinement etc - and although I was sceptical about it, it has had the desired effect.

[Eeyore]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-30880085

[r3k1355]

You should try weed that might mellow you out.

or make you a nervous wreck - either way you'll enjoy yourself.

[Paul_13]

Apparently LSD/magic mushrooms works wonders for curing/helping OCD sufferers

[Mattcheese31]

Apparently LSD/magic mushrooms works wonders for curing/helping OCD sufferers

I wouldn't personally dare recommending lsd to anyone, it's a trip you don't always return from lol... Tom knows my view, it's a can of manup he needs to open, I lost a friend Christmas day just gone, had a heart attack and fell from an upstairs window, he was only 30 years old, don't worry about tomorrow, concentrate on enjoying today, it might be your last and you'll wish you hadn't spent it feeling sorry for yourself.

[Toms306]

Lol, nothing illegal! if I want to be irritable and paranoid I don't need to waste money on drugs.

[Paul_13]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=33VOGilOT0w

[7057sam]

/\/\ ahhhhh what a epsoide

Tom don't do any cheesing

[Toms306]

I don't even know what it is...guessing it has nothing to do with cheddar though...

[Piggy]

Just sit down and work out how much time you have spent rattling on and moaning online.
Consider what you could teach yourself/learn in that time in order to earn a living.
By the time you've finished moaning and excluding everyones good ideas and worrying about what happens next, it WILL be the future and you'll end up with regret and depression from not doing anything with your life.

[Midnightclub]

In all fairness mate.. with the amount of time you have available looking online.. Have you ever thought about doing a course for web design or something similar? There's decent money to be made if you're good at it and can be done from the comfort of your own home

[Toms306]

I spend most time on here on my phone on the loo tbf, its not useable time for anything else! Only time I spend on the PC is now (evenings) and I'm doing this around other online activities.

I'm not excluding everyones ideas at all, in fact I'm working my way through the thread researching a lot of them...

Design really isn't my sort of thing Danny, don't have any creativity.

[zx_volcane]

/\/\ ahhhhh what a epsoide

Tom don't do any cheesing

but its fon-to-due !

[chylledapps]

Did you mail me? may have gone to spam as I have it set quite sensitively. Getting busy and easy work Alternatively click the join us link on our website to get the info.

ANDY

[Midnightclub]

Design really isn't my sort of thing Danny, don't have any creativity.

Again tom, it's completely subjective.. If you have no faith in yourself, how do you expect to be creative or even be motivated? (I know self doubt comes with anxiety, trust me...) But you've got to 'get over it', you've got to have some give somewhere. It's all about mind over matter, if you let your negative thoughts control everything, no matter what it is you'll manage to somehow find the negative over the positive.

This thread seems to be going the way of the other times this has happened, people make suggestions over and over again, just for you to say you don't like it/can't do it/don't want to/don't think you can/insertwhateverreasonhere. Not having a go or whatever, just being honest.

[Toms306]

Did you mail me? may have gone to spam as I have it set quite sensitively. Getting busy and easy work Alternatively click the join us link on our website to get the info.

ANDY

Oops, no, must've got sidetracked the other day!   Just emailed you now through the contact form on your site.

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Design really isn't my sort of thing Danny, don't have any creativity.

Again tom, it's completely subjective.. If you have no faith in yourself, how do you expect to be creative or even be motivated? (I know self doubt comes with anxiety, trust me...) But you've got to 'get over it', you've got to have some give somewhere. It's all about mind over matter, if you let your negative thoughts control everything, no matter what it is you'll manage to somehow find the negative over the positive.

This thread seems to be going the way of the other times this has happened, people make suggestions over and over again, just for you to say you don't like it/can't do it/don't want to/don't think you can/insertwhateverreasonhere. Not having a go or whatever, just being honest.

I haven't discounted many things tbh, I think people are just assuming I have, maybe I've accidentally implied it.

There are some things that I just know I can't do for whatever reason, as said creative things I cant do, never could draw etc, cant paint stuff either, even calipers look awful close up, I'm just more a sort of 'bolts' person than an 'arty' one I guess.

[Poodle]

Don't try LSD, know a few who have and for the most part they haven't been the same since, including someone very close to me. Mushrooms are great though! I digress....

Painting stuff like calipers is what you make it, it's just a definitive process and chemical reaction at the end of the day, purely a matter of method. I'm not an arty person either, far from it, but that doesn't mean i can't draw a diagram. Midnightclub has got it nailed - the only thing holding you back is your negativity. The girlfriend thing for example, i'll get destroyed by any females reading this, but the fact of the matter is they are genetically programmed to look after things. Strangely it often seems to be the case that the more pathetic you are the more they want to help, there will be many girls out there who would give their right arm to "put up" with you, i would know, i was falling over them in my depressive stage. Seriously, you don't need to look further than radio 1 to know it's true - all the pathetic excuses for musicians whining about their latest trials and tribulations and they've got girls coming out of their ears.

Seriously though, you can't dismiss anything just because you think you might not be good at it/like it/it like you/etc. Just bloody do something, it works!

[Toms306]

All I know about LSD is Quaiffe is good... I've heard e's are good? Some guy called shamen said so anyway...

I didn't know girls come out of their ears Alex? I'm so naïve...

But seriously, maybe that should be my new slogan 'just bloody do something'.

[laurence_13]

Again tom, I don't know you... And have no idea about ibs. But... There's a lad I know, who comes up the farm who suffers from ocd and anxiety. In my opinion, very badly... He didn't leave his house for almost a year, and is still 31 lives with his parents and doesnt drive. I know with the anxiety trying to purseuede otherwise is fighting a losing battle, ive had him ring me numerous times crying because he's fallen out with one of his friends and he doesn't know what to do or how to sort it, over something like not making a cup of tea. now like I said I don't know you, but id say he's pretty severe... And he still manages to hold down a part time job at boots... It's not a lot, but it's still a job. It's got him back into dealing with people and over the few years he's worked there he's improved no end. You just need to listen to what people are saying on here... It will get slightly better, there's still going to be highs and lows.. But I'm sure you can do it

[THE_Liam]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=33VOGilOT0w

LSD is nothing like this. You don't get to play with tits, drive a rocket-powered Trans-Am or fly a B-17. In my experience you usually wake up hunched in a corner of your garden in the rain...

Awesome song though, Don Henley - Heavy Metal.

[Paul_13]

I only posted that up as a joke

An old mate of mine did 21 tabs of acid on his 21st birthday.
3 months he was tripping, he said I knew I had come down when i could go outside and 20ft spiders aren't trying to chase me

[nominous]

Based purely on what I read in this thread, I see a guy who has a reason for not doing many many things.
Actually the one thing that you appear to excel at is excuses.

It appears you have an easy life (no responsibilities, no one relying on you) and you are happy with it to some extent.
If you don't wish to better yourself, carry on the way you are going.
Else, just stop whining about how terrible your situation is. Stop using the IBS, OCD, Anxiety, XYZ as a crutch.
There are people in the world that have it much worse than you do, but manage to cope.

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-ouch-30803004

Bear in mind that someone who cannot be arsed to help himself is someone that many people cannot be arsed to help.
An awful lot of people on this thread are jumping to support you, but many of them identify that this is "the same old story".
Life isn't supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be a challenge every day. If not, then you're not experiencing it to the fullest.


Every failed experience is still a new experience and we are defined by both our failures and successes.
Especially when we choose to learn from both.
But you are doomed by no one but yourself to do neither and stay stuck in your rut.


If you've got some money saved up and what sounds like few ties, I would suggest you pack a bag and go travelling.
See things from a different perspective and a different culture.
Get away from the banality of your current daily life and you might find yourself.

Carry on with your current attitude and you'll keep starting threads like this and be nothing else but older:


"When I say I don't like doing anything, I mean anything!  Not just from a job point of view, but most people like something, even if its just food or intercourse, so can reward themselves after a hard task.  I cant really find anything to do that for me, when I think I'll like something I usually end up thinking 'well, this is shit, why did I bother'."

[Eeyore]

you should set up a website called ineedanexcuse.com. Charge £1 for each one tom and you will be minted! Play to your strengths etc.

Tom you could easily get a job at halfords or B&Q. Most of the people there dont know what they are talking about and you would be an expert if you were at halfords! Imagine what a god you will be when you change peoples bulbs for them!

Halfords! Do it!

[Toms306]

There was a job at the Ipswich Halfords a couple of weeks back, only 3 hours a day and could've just skipped a meal to do it, plus I know the manager there (he sold me the 1.8 back in the day!)...but it was a till job. If it'd been warehousing or fitting I'd definitely have applied but no point of another till job as I don't want a repeat of the co-op!

[bigcheez2k3]

There was a job at the Ipswich Halfords a couple of weeks back, only 3 hours a day and could've just skipped a meal to do it, plus I know the manager there (he sold me the 1.8 back in the day!)...but it was a till job.   If it'd been warehousing or fitting I'd definitely have applied but no point of another till job as I don't want a repeat of the co-op!

Why not have a hat with the guy, give him your CV and if anything like that comes up he might contact you.

[Toms306]

He already has my CV lol, more than once.