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So there is a man on his death bed lying there with his wife beside him.
He says, before I die my wife, I must clear my conscience.
I slept with your sister.
that's ok she says.
that's not all, I also slept with your best friend.
Don't worry she says.
I must tell you he says, it doesn't end there, I'm so sorry but I also slept with your mum.
Don't worry she replies.
He asks. Why are you being so forgiving?
she finish's with.
because i poisoned you!
Come on then, I started with a crap joke, what you got?
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(10-09-2014, 09:56 PM)SRowell Wrote: thats crap...
He shoots
he misses
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One atom says to the other atom "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" First atom says, "Yeah, I'm positive."
Just watched 'boffins telling jokes' on BBC2... 
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(10-09-2014, 10:01 PM)Toms306 Wrote: One atom says to the other atom "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" First atom says, "Yeah, I'm positive."
Just watched 'boffins telling jokes' on BBC2...
Good man. You get the point.
another quick one.
a horse walks into a bar.
barman says. Why the long face?
oldies are the goldies
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What's the bear minimum?
1 bear.
![[Image: car-1.jpg]](http://i1117.photobucket.com/albums/k591/grant-306/car-1.jpg)
Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
2000 Moonstone 1.8 Meridian - Sold
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10-09-2014, 10:05 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-09-2014, 10:14 PM by impotentials.)
(10-09-2014, 10:04 PM)Grant Wrote: What's the bear minimum?
1 bear.
Winner so far. Let the games begin
What do you call a three legged donkey?
a wonkey
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10-09-2014, 10:17 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-09-2014, 10:21 PM by Toms306.)
Lol, Uncle ftw!
How do you make an apple turnover? Roll it down a hill...
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around for a while...
What cheese do you use to cover a horse? Mascarpone...
What cheese do you use to coax a bear? Camembert...
Scientist walks into a bar with a mate and asks the barman for a H20... His mate says 'yeah, I'll have a H20 too'... He died... 
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what's hot, smells and makes you want to drop your pants?
diarrhea
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What the difference between a tractor and a giraffe ???
The tractor has hydraulics and the giraffe has high ballacks
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(10-09-2014, 10:04 PM)Grant Wrote: What's the bear minimum?
1 bear.
[attachment=18910]
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A train hits a bus filled with Catholic schoolgirls and they all perish.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl ;Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St. Peter says, Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, ;Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? The girl is a little reluctant but replies, Well, once I fondled and stroked one. St. Peter says, Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, Nicola, What seems to be the rush?
The girl replies,;If Im going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Sharon sticks her arse in!
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ahaha
"Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?"
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I've decided to sell my favourite Hoover, it's just collecting dust...
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Why the hedgehog cross the road?
To show us all he had guts
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Why was 6 scared??
Because 7 8 9
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What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug
What do you cakl a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
On a break from 306oc for personal reasons. If anyone needs or wants me most of you have my number and or facebook messenger
Thanks for the good times guys n gals. I might be back. Who knows.
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What do you call a man that been dead 10 years??
Pete
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11-09-2014, 08:17 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-09-2014, 08:18 AM by DavidA.)
What do you call a man with rabbits in his pockets ?
Warren
What do you call a man with a car on his head ?
Jack
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What do you call a man with a pig on his head.?
hamed
What do you call a man with 2 pigs on his head.?
mohamed
What do you call a man with 2 pigs on his head and a sheep under his arm.?
mohamed aslam
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Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?
- all that was left was de brie
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Why didnt the mushroom go to the party?
- He wasnt a funghi.
Why didnt the funghi go to the party?
- There wasnt mushroom!
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Man walks into a bar...
Ouch!
#2 Moonstone Blue HDI
![[Image: 6b0c7309-5184-463c-9f73-2a7b96601418_zpsfdf041fe.jpg]](http://i512.photobucket.com/albums/t326/kent16_2008/6b0c7309-5184-463c-9f73-2a7b96601418_zpsfdf041fe.jpg)
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why was the squirrel crying???
because someone pinched his nuts !!!
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come bac?
A stick
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Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
2000 Moonstone 1.8 Meridian - Sold
2000 China 3dr XS - Dead
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![[Image: P1060836_zpsz3xgxt7q.jpg]](http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g427/wingnutz2/P1060836_zpsz3xgxt7q.jpg)
