The Meatwagon: Missing, presumed..?

[Matt]

Rusty?

[cwspellowe]

Ahh that'll just happen when the paint falls off anyway. It's an inevitability.

[Matt]

[ozonehostile]

your wiper and light stalks look really out of place against the bodgetastic new interior, couldn't you figure out a way of turning a machete into stalks or something?

[cwspellowe]

your wiper and light stalks look really out of place against the bodgetastic new interior, couldn't you figure out a way of turning a machete into stalks or something?

Suppose I could hollow out a couple of handles from something, and glue them on?

[kentiiboii]

Erm... gold.
Your old Wheels was spot on

[cwspellowe]

Erm... gold.
Your old Wheels was spot on

I know, tbh wish i'd never changed them. If i'd had a set of steels to try on up here first i'd have decided against them..

[kentiiboii]

Erm... gold.
Your old Wheels was spot on

I know, tbh wish i'd never changed them. If i'd had a set of steels to try on up here first i'd have decided against them..

They really suited it. Yeah they didn't go with the theme. But like you say you didn't want then Cleche.

[Dum-Dum]

Paint them black and yellow hazard striped, or hazard tape the dish

IMO this or black and yellow quarters like crash test dummies wheels

[kingy]

Paint them black and yellow hazard striped, or hazard tape the dish

IMO this or black and yellow quarters like crash test dummies wheels

Ohhhhh yes. Totally agree with the crash dummie theame.

[Matt]

---

Inspiration

[Grant]

OMG Flamethrower YES! Why has it not been done?!

[Piggy]

fyi...machine gins were my idea for this

[cwspellowe]

Good news everyone!



The tank passed its MOT today with just two advisories. One for not removing the child seat (wee man wanted to come see a proper workshop) and one for the sill being a bit bent where it landed on the jack last year after it fell off it. Result.

This now paves the way for another 12 months of general retardedness and fuckaboutery, and having FINALLY found the mystery clunk that's been plaguing me for months I feel a lot better about driving it anywhere. Always handy when you're reassured by an impartial mechanic that it won't in fact kill me any time soon.

FWIW.. he said the smoke stack would have still passed the MOT if i'd left it fitted, and the only thing it could cause controversy over would be safety grounds, but would be at a Police Officer's discretion, and something that could be argued. So that clears that up.

As it stood on the ramps, certainly made a hot topic of conversation with the other mechanics. He did have trouble getting the jack under the rear beam to inspect everything properly though



Now to buy tax tomorrow and we're go for FCS!

Speaking of which, for anyone that hasn't been on Facebook, i was invited into the Built Not Bought Themed Paddock at FCS this year, so I won't be on the stand with you all. I will however be parking the car in the paddock and heading to the OC stand to avoid any awkard conversations or head shaking Quite looking forward to it, now to find some green or black paint (whichever is closest to hand) to paint the door shuts.

[kingy]

How much money did you have to part with for the tester to pass it then?
Congrats marra.. would have never thought it but hey what do I know.

[cwspellowe]

£50. The test fee.

I like how everyone assumes I can't get a car to pass an MOT on its own merit

[ginge191]

It's lucky you like the tasten of semen then? eh?

but f*ck me. congrats...

[Dum-Dum]

I will however be parking the car in the paddock and heading to the OC stand to avoid any awkard conversations or head shaking

Where are you parking the AA truck?

[cwspellowe]

I will however be parking the car in the paddock and heading to the OC stand to avoid any awkard conversations or head shaking

Where are you parking the AA truck?

Dat's a mighdee old hat you got dere, pardner

[Jonny81191]

I will however be parking the car in the paddock and heading to the OC stand to avoid any awkard conversations or head shaking

Where are you parking the AA truck?

That'd be an aa truck with a professional mechanic driving it yeah?

[C.A.R.]

Nice!

My MOT go-to bloke is my neighbours nephew. Happy days. I left the child seat in, just let him know first...

Congrats.

[cwspellowe]

Nice!

My MOT go-to bloke is my neighbours nephew. Happy days. I left the child seat in, just let him know first...

Congrats.

Suppose that's a good way to get out of having that blasted NS upper seatbelt mounting point tested, the one that always rusts

[cwspellowe]

MotherfuckingleakingboschpumpSHIIIITTT!

Well, less than two weeks before FCS, I discover a fairly heavy leak on my Bosch, which explains my below average empeegee and the sticky veg all over the underside of the engine. I also discovered a hole in a boost hose big enough to fit my fingers in, yet the turbo's still hitting 22psi easily. Lol, suppose i'd better fix that too.

Now, on to the fuel leak from the Bosch.

Step 1: Buy a seal kit. £12 from the bay of E, bargain

Step 2: Find something to wedge onto those triangle bolts. Done.

Step 3: Find something to fit your new seals to. Oh wait, this looks like it will do....



More on this little thingy here later..



Step 4: Remove old seal and compare to the new one.



Yep, old one looked ok on initial inspection but is certainly slack compared to the new one. Get it swapped.

Step 5: Drop the head and cry when you realise you didn't check where the washers were before you dropped it. Reassemble accordingly. Spend the rest of the night worrying if your new frankenpump will implode as soon as you start the engine.



Step 6: Realise you can't really do any more as your 306 pump is still on the car, so instead start taking everything else apart, allow the camplate to fall off and all the rollers run away, marvel at the wonders of electronic throttle control, pour diesel in the head and giggle like a girl as you pump it and diesel goes everywhere.

Step 7: Spy the banjo bolts from the, er, *donor pump* and wonder why they look to be a bit bigger bore than the ones on the 306 and think "OOH! ooh..?"

Step 8: Realise your new boost hose hasn't arrived so even if the frankenpump gets built on Sunday there will be no testing going on. Get sad. Put your tools away for the night.

Long story short:

This process when completed will ensure diesel doesn't go everywhere any more. It will also mean you won't necessarily get better MPG

[samass]

Epic. So from package arriving to having it in prices on the kitchen table... 5 minutes?

[cwspellowe]

Nah more like 15 mins. I had to find something to wedge on a triangle bolt first.

[samass]

That's acceptable. What did you use? A spoon?

[cwspellowe]

Nah I found one of those inverted torx bit things, smashed it on with a hammer, reshaped the head of the bolt. If it doesn't fit, make it fit. f*ck butchering one of my sockets to fit haha.

[samass]

Eyedeal! Never use those f*cking things anyway haha

[cwspellowe]

Exactly. Only car i've ever seen them on is a Vauxhall and am I f*ck working on one of them.

[cwspellowe]

Was working til 4pm today, first thing I did when I got in? Yep, removed the Bosch from the 306 and set about stripping it.

Pretty much standard XUD Bosch stripping, no different from the 11mm guide on here, so not much to see with that. I did however notice something rather intriguing.

After reading up on losing IPP after a series of hard pulls, turns out the fuel lines can be quite restrictive, most notably around the feed banjo. So the banjo needs opened up a bit. Or maybe there's a better alternative..?

Below we have a 306 fuel feed banjo on the right, and one from the currently sort of secret donor pump on the left. Notice the difference?



That's right. The 306 one has much bigger holes in it, so is obviously better for flow. This is going nowhere..



Oh, hang on, that donor pump banjo has four holes in it?! Just think.. twice as many holes, and someone careless like me could take a dremel to them to widen them up to a similar size, and then flow could be up to DOUBLED over the standard 306 banjo /dumdummaths



MUCH better. flow flow flow. Throw some bigger bore fuel lines and it's starting to look a lot more fuel happy.

Er, what else... oh yeah. I set about replacing every seal I could reasonably get to and managed to use the majority of the seal kit. Throttle shaft, timing solenoid, blanking plate on opposite side (turns out the bit that was leaking..), pump head, DV copper washers, all sorts. Some of the ones that came out were brittle as fook!



Wee moderate gov (I dont rev to 6k.. out of choice) and new seal for top half of pump



And all back together, ready for an early morning fitting. One 10mm hybrid VE pump, soon to be combined with the GT2056. Should be interesting...