The secrets thread

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The secrets thread
#31
At least he aint shitting on people...
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#32
pmsl epic!

On a similar theme:

Next time your missus goes to give you a bj, see how many times you can smack her in the face with it before she works out it's not just a reflex.

Only recommended when your pissed and the bj was probably going to go to waste anyway. (I feel i should explain that actually, although you'll probably wish i hadn't - i'm one of those that never has any trouble getting it up no matter what state i'm in, however finishing is a different matter...) With any luck she'll be pissed too and won't remember next time, works for me Wink

Heh heh "How to ruin the moment #1"...
306 HDi Deathtrap - 130bhp / 220lbft
...UPGRADING...



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#33
I like the above thing, as well as the one about pissing on your girlfriend lmao Carrying on with this theme, being 6 foot tall, most sinks are perfectly placed for me to piss into them and then wash my dick afterwards under the tap, so whenever I am out and about I normally go for a piss in the sink and then wash my dick and hands all in one go. I have been known to dry my dick underneath the hand dryer as well.
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#34
Flynn Wrote:I like the above thing, as well as the one about pissing on your girlfriend lmao Carrying on with this theme, being 6 foot tall, most sinks are perfectly placed for me to piss into them and then wash my dick afterwards under the tap, so whenever I am out and about I normally go for a piss in the sink and then wash my dick and hands all in one go. I have been known to dry my dick underneath the hand dryer as well.

Hahah, how weird - I always do this aswel, thought I was the only one though! lol This one time I went to dry my cock and your mum was dressed up as a hand dryer, and when I put my cock near her she sucked me off and I blew my load over her fat ol' titties.


:liar:
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#35
lol !!! This is quite epic!
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#36
Dan! Wrote:
Flynn Wrote:I like the above thing, as well as the one about pissing on your girlfriend lmao Carrying on with this theme, being 6 foot tall, most sinks are perfectly placed for me to piss into them and then wash my dick afterwards under the tap, so whenever I am out and about I normally go for a piss in the sink and then wash my dick and hands all in one go. I have been known to dry my dick underneath the hand dryer as well.

Hahah, how weird - I always do this aswel, thought I was the only one though! lol This one time I went to dry my cock and your mum was dressed up as a hand dryer, and when I put my cock near her she sucked me off and I blew my load over her fat ol' titties.


:liar:
We need a rep button!
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#37
Dan! Wrote:
Flynn Wrote:I like the above thing, as well as the one about pissing on your girlfriend lmao Carrying on with this theme, being 6 foot tall, most sinks are perfectly placed for me to piss into them and then wash my dick afterwards under the tap, so whenever I am out and about I normally go for a piss in the sink and then wash my dick and hands all in one go. I have been known to dry my dick underneath the hand dryer as well.

Hahah, how weird - I always do this aswel, thought I was the only one though! lol This one time I went to dry my cock and your mum was dressed up as a hand dryer, and when I put my cock near her she sucked me off and I blew my load over her fat ol' titties.


:liar:

Haha, I can't believe you are agreeing with me for once! Haha! Edit: Oh just seen I was the victim of a cruel joke Sad :oops: I doubt a 5 foot inbred drawf from Norfolk could even reach the sink with his cock anyhow.
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#38
Flynn Wrote:Haha, I can't believe you are agreeing with me for once! Haha! Edit: Oh just seen I was the victim of a cruel joke Sad :oops: I doubt a 5 foot inbred drawf from Norfolk could even reach the sink with his cock anyhow.

Quite a spelling mistake there mate, time to bust out that incredible intellect again and start typing with your eyes open Doh
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#39
Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful lol Ive seen dan in person (although he doesnt know it ninja) and he isnt anywhere near 5ft tall...
306oc Chat Wrote:15:30: Toms306 - :Genuinely thought it was gonna explode when I was playing with Sam
22:57: SRowell - :wtf why didnt you try harder to make me come!
[Image: connorsig.jpg]
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#40
Flynn Wrote:Haha, I can't believe you are agreeing with me for once! Haha! Edit: Oh just seen I was the victim of a cruel joke Sad :oops: I doubt a 5 foot inbred drawf from Norfolk could even reach the sink with his cock anyhow.

Now that's no way to talk about your mother is it?

Connor Wrote:Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful lol Ive seen dan in person (although he doesnt know it ninja) and he isnt anywhere near 5ft tall...

When you say he isn't anywhere near, how much shorter than 5ft is he?
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#41
Dan! Wrote:
Flynn Wrote:Haha, I can't believe you are agreeing with me for once! Haha! Edit: Oh just seen I was the victim of a cruel joke Sad :oops: I doubt a 5 foot inbred drawf from Norfolk could even reach the sink with his cock anyhow.

Quite a spelling mistake there mate, time to bust out that incredible intellect again and start typing with your eyes open Doh
Oh right genius how am I supposed to spell it then? :roll:

Connor Wrote:Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful lol Ive seen dan in person (although he doesnt know it ninja) and he isnt anywhere near 5ft tall...

Yes probably more like 3.9 foot tall or something weird.
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#42
Flynn Wrote:Oh right genius how am I supposed to spell it then? :roll:


Maybe correctly? Dwarf?
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#43
burnmw Wrote:When you say he isn't anywhere near, how much shorter than 5ft is he?

About -1ft... so by my maths that makes him about 6ft...
306oc Chat Wrote:15:30: Toms306 - :Genuinely thought it was gonna explode when I was playing with Sam
22:57: SRowell - :wtf why didnt you try harder to make me come!
[Image: connorsig.jpg]
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#44
lol

Okay now guys enough with the personal abuse.
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#45
Connor Wrote:Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful lol Ive seen dan in person (although he doesnt know it ninja) and he isnt anywhere near 5ft tall...

I thought he was about 8ft tall??

Don't worry Flynn I do the same as you mate. I always wash my cock in your sink after I'm finished. Even use your towel to dry it and wipe of the bits I missed.
Team Eaton


1999 China Blue 306 GTi6 - Eaton Supercharged - 214.5bhp 181lbft
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#46
guys, stop trolling Flynn.

I dont like the fact i have to get involved, I thought you all had common sense.

Have some banter, but dont to OTT for no obvious reason
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1. Fooby's Car
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#47
He started it *Humffff*
306oc Chat Wrote:15:30: Toms306 - :Genuinely thought it was gonna explode when I was playing with Sam
22:57: SRowell - :wtf why didnt you try harder to make me come!
[Image: connorsig.jpg]
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#48
no he didnt?
Team - Inappropriate Footwear. Member 1 of 3.

1. Fooby's Car
2. Fooby's Hire Car(s)
3. Fooby's Company Pool Car

Team Self Improvement
1. Learn to Car
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#49
Originally he did... lol
306oc Chat Wrote:15:30: Toms306 - :Genuinely thought it was gonna explode when I was playing with Sam
22:57: SRowell - :wtf why didnt you try harder to make me come!
[Image: connorsig.jpg]
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#50
originally doesnt count over here.

Clean sheets for everyone
Team - Inappropriate Footwear. Member 1 of 3.

1. Fooby's Car
2. Fooby's Hire Car(s)
3. Fooby's Company Pool Car

Team Self Improvement
1. Learn to Car
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#51
To be fair, he'll get himself banned before long, doesn't need any provocation.
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#52
I tried giving him a clean sheet when he joined up on here. It didnt last long before his 'clean sheet' looked like rugby players top after a full game, in the middle of winter.
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