ROADKILL

[THE_Liam]

Hit a pigeon on the A1, poor fucker exploded in a shower of feathers, hopefully dead before it felt anything though. Then suddenly this woman starts flashing her lights and signalling me to pull over, so I did thinking something was damaged or falling off. Pulled over and got out and she pulled up in front of me, then I noticed the PETA sticker on the back. Spend 5 minutes screaming at me and crying! I just told her to f*ck off back to the hospital before her carers found out she was gone.

What was she expecting you to do about it? Not sure you could pick up the pieces of pigeon and glue it back together!

"You cruel bastard, why did you do that?!?!"
"It was obviously an accident love, what's it got to do with you anyway, was it a pet?"
"It was a living creature and you swerved to hit it!!!"
"I swerved to try and miss it you daft bint!"
"I saw what you did, and so did Jesus!"
"f*ck off back to the hospital before the nurses know you're gone you f*cking nosy cow!"

Would of been a perfect opportunity for the "That will T-cut out" line

"Fucks sake love, if you're hungry I've just made pate..."