14-12-2012, 11:17 PM
Just read most of this I remember chatting to you on chatbox once didn't go into it all but i thought i would offer some light to your tunnel.
2006 I had a complete breakdown nearly got sectioned and lost everything (DJing residency, Normal Job, Flat, Access to my little girl, Car you get the picture) APART from my family. I felt like a complete wasteman and i had bottled everything up and it all came undone. I quickly learnt who my real friends and family members were. I had even stopped djing for a while and just disappeared of the radar. I was put on medication and had to have someone keep an eye on me. the medication also bought me bowel problems which to this day i still have even with changes to meds.
Luckily one of my friends came into some money and bought a flat for me to rent as i was on benefits for my mental health issues. turned out from puberty i had un-diagnosed Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal ideation so my cousin moved in with me to keep an eye on me. He caught me a few times trying to kill myself and had to wrestle me a few times from using the knife or the pills or the alc or whatever was there. It was cause i bottled every single thing up and had no way to vent. I had counselling that never worked. I was at a total loss.
Then out the blue one of my other friends recommended me for djing in ramsgate. This helped me so much was unreal. I was able to start rebuilding my life and when i got strong enough i went to court and got access to see my little girl. I was able to sort out a car and actually started to think i wasn't such a wasteman. Had a little hiccup in 09 when dvla messed up my license and i had to ride my bike for a couple of years. Also nearly got blackmailed by a very evil woman pretending a kid was mine but my family and friends supported me through all this. Kris B even went as far as helping me sort out a motorbike to ride.
2010 I decided to move out of London and Down to the Kent coast as my Djing was going so well and it is so much cheaper and being by the sea really chills me out. I then got with my missus who i knew for a couple of years before and then my little girl started to come and stay with me. Then one of the people who helped me get through the teenage years who was like a dad to me passed. His wife said to me Nat we know things have been tough for you but Dave said you keep moving forward and you'll be fine he thought of you in hospital and that touched me so much. made me realise i'm not such a wasteman after all.
A couple of years on we come to the present. After all the bad things life is great. I have a residency that's been going for 4 years now and according to the local papers I have the busiest weekly Saturday night on the kent coast and I have a very big following now.. I now have probably the most loving woman in the world who is carrying my next child and my daughter who is now nine I have a great relationship with her and speak daily and see her every week and she comes to stay with me through the holidays. My missus is probably the best female friend i've ever had even more then my mum and the best thing i can talk to her and we work through things together which is great. I know i have a tremendous support network and know aslong as i take one step at a time moving forward i'll be ok. I've now rebuilt most of my life and it's way stronger then before and that means I'm able to move further forward.
Half the people i meet don't have a clue about my issues but i like to think i'm a bit johnny 5 (if you seen short circuit you'll know what i'm on about)
Guess what i'm trying to say is after you hit rock bottom the only way is up. Keep your chin up it will and can get better i'm living proof.
Speak to your doctors they do give a sh#t and will try to help how ever they can. Health care helped me and look at me now.
But you have done the first step and confided to people on here that you do have issues and the first step is always the hardest. But i would say you need to talk to your mum about your issues just so she can help. Until i told my mum she never had a clue but when i did she bent over backwards to help. she will be shocked but she will know and that's another baby step forward.
Hope this helps and if you want to chat ever pm me i'll always listen as i've been where you are and people listened to me and that helped so much.
2006 I had a complete breakdown nearly got sectioned and lost everything (DJing residency, Normal Job, Flat, Access to my little girl, Car you get the picture) APART from my family. I felt like a complete wasteman and i had bottled everything up and it all came undone. I quickly learnt who my real friends and family members were. I had even stopped djing for a while and just disappeared of the radar. I was put on medication and had to have someone keep an eye on me. the medication also bought me bowel problems which to this day i still have even with changes to meds.
Luckily one of my friends came into some money and bought a flat for me to rent as i was on benefits for my mental health issues. turned out from puberty i had un-diagnosed Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal ideation so my cousin moved in with me to keep an eye on me. He caught me a few times trying to kill myself and had to wrestle me a few times from using the knife or the pills or the alc or whatever was there. It was cause i bottled every single thing up and had no way to vent. I had counselling that never worked. I was at a total loss.
Then out the blue one of my other friends recommended me for djing in ramsgate. This helped me so much was unreal. I was able to start rebuilding my life and when i got strong enough i went to court and got access to see my little girl. I was able to sort out a car and actually started to think i wasn't such a wasteman. Had a little hiccup in 09 when dvla messed up my license and i had to ride my bike for a couple of years. Also nearly got blackmailed by a very evil woman pretending a kid was mine but my family and friends supported me through all this. Kris B even went as far as helping me sort out a motorbike to ride.
2010 I decided to move out of London and Down to the Kent coast as my Djing was going so well and it is so much cheaper and being by the sea really chills me out. I then got with my missus who i knew for a couple of years before and then my little girl started to come and stay with me. Then one of the people who helped me get through the teenage years who was like a dad to me passed. His wife said to me Nat we know things have been tough for you but Dave said you keep moving forward and you'll be fine he thought of you in hospital and that touched me so much. made me realise i'm not such a wasteman after all.
A couple of years on we come to the present. After all the bad things life is great. I have a residency that's been going for 4 years now and according to the local papers I have the busiest weekly Saturday night on the kent coast and I have a very big following now.. I now have probably the most loving woman in the world who is carrying my next child and my daughter who is now nine I have a great relationship with her and speak daily and see her every week and she comes to stay with me through the holidays. My missus is probably the best female friend i've ever had even more then my mum and the best thing i can talk to her and we work through things together which is great. I know i have a tremendous support network and know aslong as i take one step at a time moving forward i'll be ok. I've now rebuilt most of my life and it's way stronger then before and that means I'm able to move further forward.
Half the people i meet don't have a clue about my issues but i like to think i'm a bit johnny 5 (if you seen short circuit you'll know what i'm on about)
Guess what i'm trying to say is after you hit rock bottom the only way is up. Keep your chin up it will and can get better i'm living proof.
Speak to your doctors they do give a sh#t and will try to help how ever they can. Health care helped me and look at me now.
But you have done the first step and confided to people on here that you do have issues and the first step is always the hardest. But i would say you need to talk to your mum about your issues just so she can help. Until i told my mum she never had a clue but when i did she bent over backwards to help. she will be shocked but she will know and that's another baby step forward.
Hope this helps and if you want to chat ever pm me i'll always listen as i've been where you are and people listened to me and that helped so much.
Don't worry about what I'm doing, I want you to worry about what you're doing