There Must be More Than Just 306's and Golf's?????

[Ruan]

Tom - from what it seems to me, I'm not being harsh here, I'm genuinely trying to help.

Everything we say or suggest, it's a reason as to why you can't - but I'm afraid to say it's merely an excuse, and that's all it is - you've got to view life and the world as a short amount of time that you get to do what you want.

You really need to think to yourself, do I WANT to have x, or do I want to be able to do y.... You then need the motivation to go and do it, and I'm sure if there's anything that people on this forum can do to help - they will. Honestly, some of the things people have done on here to help others out, completely non car related is amazing, through 306oc I'd say I've gotten some of my best friends... The only reason I live 250 miles away from home, happy, in a house that I call home is due to the people on this forum and other forums about 306s...

I've been in some pretty shit places mentally before, now I'm not saying I can compare it to how you are - I don't know the full picture, it's not easy when all I see is reasons why you can't do things... But you need to find in yourself the will and determination to pull through, because I found out not all that long ago in honesty, that if you don't give a crap, no arsehole else will, it's only YOU who can do it... Everyone will do as much in their power to help you as is physically possible, but you've got to want the help yourself.

I've not read the thread thoroughly, there's a lot of snippets I've caught though...

- Niall suggested you did some Martial Arts, great idea IMO, it doesn't matter about strength, all you need is determination...
- Numerous people have suggested going to the pub - I very rarely drink in honesty, I'm not a massive fan, but it doesn't matter, you can sit and have water/coke/J2O if you really want, no one is going to judge you... You're there to spend the time with like minded people.
- The car thing no one can help you out with, you've got to make that decision yourself, we can give suggestions and ideas, but it does come down to you.

You need to take a step back from the worry, anxiety if you can, and just think what you want out of life... Money isn't everything, I'm currently spending 47 hours a week packing insulation into 10kg bags - I f*cking HATE it, there's nothing more I hate than going to work in the mornings, but it's currently a means to an end, it means I get to live in my house, drive my car where I need to and pay for the food I need to live... There's nothing more that I need in life at the moment, I've got my friends back home which I don't get to see anywhere near as much as I'd like - but money simply doesn't allow at the moment and I've got my friends here in Gloucester... That's what matters...

If you're happy, nothing else matters... IMHO. We're trying to help, but you need to want peoples help.

[kentiiboii]

Help your self out dude!

My cousin he's got nothing wrong with him. He's had girlfriends but is nervous and stays obsessed with his exs instead of moving on....
He's 27 he live at home with his parents. His mum controll his bank account and his money. He spent 2.5k on a really nice over priced Astra. And recently bought a l reg kdx or ktm. Lovely bikes he's got it all legal. But he won't ride it as his mum and dad control him and made him scared of it. ( it's the most awesome 125cc I've ever been on! ). But my point is. He's got that use to staying in playing his games all day that he's 27 lives with his parents. Gets up goes work comes home looks at his pond then goes in his room on Xbox. Trying to get him to go out is impossible. He has no live. And his idea of a first date is spend the night in his bedroom watching one of his 4858393949731873599 DVDs.

Keep going the way you are dude you'll end up like this.






Ever seen the 40 year old virgin?

[Toms306]

Tom - from what it seems to me, I'm not being harsh here, I'm genuinely trying to help.

Everything we say or suggest, it's a reason as to why you can't - but I'm afraid to say it's merely an excuse, and that's all it is - you've got to view life and the world as a short amount of time that you get to do what you want.

You really need to think to yourself, do I WANT to have x, or do I want to be able to do y.... You then need the motivation to go and do it, and I'm sure if there's anything that people on this forum can do to help - they will. Honestly, some of the things people have done on here to help others out, completely non car related is amazing, through 306oc I'd say I've gotten some of my best friends... The only reason I live 250 miles away from home, happy, in a house that I call home is due to the people on this forum and other forums about 306s...

I've been in some pretty shit places mentally before, now I'm not saying I can compare it to how you are - I don't know the full picture, it's not easy when all I see is reasons why you can't do things... But you need to find in yourself the will and determination to pull through, because I found out not all that long ago in honesty, that if you don't give a crap, no arsehole else will, it's only YOU who can do it... Everyone will do as much in their power to help you as is physically possible, but you've got to want the help yourself.

I've not read the thread thoroughly, there's a lot of snippets I've caught though...

- Niall suggested you did some Martial Arts, great idea IMO, it doesn't matter about strength, all you need is determination...
- Numerous people have suggested going to the pub - I very rarely drink in honesty, I'm not a massive fan, but it doesn't matter, you can sit and have water/coke/J2O if you really want, no one is going to judge you... You're there to spend the time with like minded people.
- The car thing no one can help you out with, you've got to make that decision yourself, we can give suggestions and ideas, but it does come down to you.

You need to take a step back from the worry, anxiety if you can, and just think what you want out of life... Money isn't everything, I'm currently spending 47 hours a week packing insulation into 10kg bags - I f*cking HATE it, there's nothing more I hate than going to work in the mornings, but it's currently a means to an end, it means I get to live in my house, drive my car where I need to and pay for the food I need to live... There's nothing more that I need in life at the moment, I've got my friends back home which I don't get to see anywhere near as much as I'd like - but money simply doesn't allow at the moment and I've got my friends here in Gloucester... That's what matters...

If you're happy, nothing else matters... IMHO. We're trying to help, but you need to want peoples help.

Ruan, I totally agree with you, infact I said something similar in the chatbox the other day (or maybe it was fb chat, anyway that's irrelevant) - That I can see people here are trying to help and support this but even after a 7 page thread nothing has actually changed, I'm still in exactly the same place as I was when I started it.

I don't know why I can't seem to help myself....maybe I dont want to be helped?? But that would be ridiculous wouldn't it!

I think one of the bigger problems is I'm scared about things that WILL inevitably happen/occur. I've always been like this, I keep going over things even if they're months or years off. But the months and years are disappearing quickly and some stuff does NEED to be sorted soon. I mean take this wisdom tooth thing as an example - I've got a horrible feeling it's gonna need to come out (even though its causing me no pain or probs atm) and I just keep thinking about it all the time...I cant even face a checkup without shaking and feeling properly bad and the thought of actually having to have something done is doing my head in, I'm shaking now just thinking/typing about it. And I genuinely can't see a way through that or some of the other 'inevitable' stuff and its sort of making me think 'whats the point' I suppose.

And thats a valid point at the end of your post, 'if you're happy thats all that matters'. I don't remember ever being happy (I suppose I was but it must have been a while ago), as bad as this is gonna sound, even at school I used to look at the fat, geeky kids, or the dumbass's that could barely write thier own name and envy their happiness, I know that sounds awful, but I couldn't see how they could be happy with where they were and I wasn't. And it's still the same now I suppose, I never seem to be happy with what I've got (you'd think a top spec 180bhp golf or passing college with a triple distinction would make me happy right...wrong), and I can't seem to change that.

Help your self out dude!

My cousin he's got nothing wrong with him. He's had girlfriends but is nervous and stays obsessed with his exs instead of moving on....
He's 27 he live at home with his parents. His mum controll his bank account and his money. He spent 2.5k on a really nice over priced Astra. And recently bought a l reg kdx or ktm. Lovely bikes he's got it all legal. But he won't ride it as his mum and dad control him and made him scared of it. ( it's the most awesome 125cc I've ever been on! ). But my point is. He's got that use to staying in playing his games all day that he's 27 lives with his parents. Gets up goes work comes home looks at his pond then goes in his room on Xbox. Trying to get him to go out is impossible. He has no live. And his idea of a first date is spend the night in his bedroom watching one of his 4858393949731873599 DVDs.

Keep going the way you are dude you'll end up like this.






Ever seen the 40 year old virgin?

No I haven't watched that, I'find out what its like in 20 years time I expect though.

And your cousin sounds pretty similar to me anyway tbh (apart from the fact I dont own a bike, a working xbox or DVDs lol), I daren't go out while my Mum's at home, incase she asks where I'm going I suppose...even though I'm not going anywhere bad lol, and she doesnt really care where I'm going anyway, I paid for the diesel, it's not really anything to do with her where I'm going lol. And I definitley won't stay out late when she's here...don't know why, the worst that happens is she makes some witty remark 'oh, thought you'd got lost, it must be past your bedtime... ' when I get home if I end up coming home late from the Ipswich Cruises. This is why I say it's so much nicer when they're away (or if I could move out) as it's certainly not thier fault at all that I don't do stuff when they're here, but I do so much more when they're not. A few weeks back they went away for my sis's b'day....on the second night they were away, I went for an evening drive (never go out after tea except meets usually) up to felixstowe view point, sat they're watching the sunset at about 9.30, tried a new (obv non alcoholic and from sainsburys not a pub) drink while I was there and drove home at around 11.30 I suppose. Seems like nothing to you guys, probably seems epically dull and boring, but for the first time in months I wasn't actually worried about anything sitting there watching the boats......................but the main point is I would never do that while the 'rents are here.

[Ruan]

You NEED to get the motivation, you need to kick yourself into thinking differently, for a long time I was the same, I wasn't popular at school, I was mostly hated, I had no life, I never went out, I stayed in and arsed with my computer... But there's a time you've got to say to yourself - I WANT to change, I want to do something about it...

I make it sound like it's just something that happens overnight and is easy, I know it's not at all easy, but if you WANT to change and you WANT to make your life better, it's only YOU that can do something about it...

[Eeyore]

you can come over to mine and help fix french cars with me for a start!

[kyleo92]

I love ZR turbos dervs... But being brought up in a family of Zeds and me having an MG metro beforehand might be why... Plus they have an L-series engine which was quite reliable. I know they have leathers and A/C as standard. Plus there are loads of aftermarket parts for them Not sure on insurance though

[kentiiboii]

you can come over to mine and help fix french cars with me for a start!

Yes Rowell because fixing French cars will cheer everyone up for the day

[cwspellowe]

you can come over to mine and help fix french cars with me for a start!

Yes Rowell because fixing French cars will cheer everyone up for the day

To be honest, I quite enjoy days like that. Look at what me and Xav achieved with the estate, neither of us have any proven experience in any of what we did but we still got on with it. Aye there were days in the pissing rain, things didn't go to plan, rushing to scrappies to get replacements for the f*cked parts.. but it was a massive giggle all the way through and you know what? I consider him a much closer pal now thanks to all that.

My point is that unless you get involved in something, you become even more reclusive and even less likely to fart about and enjoy yourself. It's a vicious circle that will ONLY end in daily medication for anxiety, bipolarity, depression and all the other mental health issues associated with it.

My missus' sister is one of the most f*cked up individuals i've ever met, I can't stand her. She's been recently diagnosed as a bipolar manic depressant and for the life of me, and everyone else, she acts like a complete dick because she won't let anyone get to know her. Hot and cold and, despite the fact she can't do anything about having mental health issues, she fucks everyone off to the point she's burned almost all her bridges now.

It's an extreme case but she's 32, 10 years or so older than you. She started out just as you are and trust me, you do NOT want to continue down that route. You really don't want to be the person she is when you're her age, now she has NO pals and even her family won't talk to her.

You might be feeling down and at a bit of a loose end just now but it can and will get worse unless you do something about it. Sorry to be so frank but it really is a downwards spiral. Have the motivation one day to pick up the phone, meet up with a couple of mates and just do something for the day. Enjoy their company. As Ruan's already said, mates are possibly the next most important thing in your life to having that special someone. Without them you're pretty much lost.

Go join in at a social before you lose touch with them. Once you're out of the loop, it's even harder to get into a new one.

Cheer the f*ck up though, ok?

[Toms306]

Hmm, I'd left this thread to disappear into the archives, thanks for bumping it Sam.

for anyone that doesn't know, I did go to Sams earlier to play with his hdi... It didn't work though....we failed as usual. Plus I wasted fuel on the way home trying to keep up with Sam....which is his fault of course.

Not sure about cheering up tbh Chris.