Time for a Fresh Start - Updated Page 3, Jan 2013

[Kimmie]

You need to seriously address things with your Mum. You say you need the physical support and that's the best place to start. I don't know her, and I understand that families can be a massive pain in the arse, but you have to start with someone close to you who loves and cares for you. Sit her down, tell her to listen to you, or if you can't face it then write it all in a letter. That way she can't 'forget' because it's there in black and white. YOU need to make her listen.

Your persistent worrying of job/money/moving etc is just making this worse. I do understand that over-thinking is part of the problem for you, but you really do just need to CHILL. You're putting so much pressure on yourself to make these things happen, and panicking about how to do it all. STOP. It's going to take time, and you literally need to take things one day at a time. Breathe, relax and breathe some more!

You need to set yourself smaller goals to start with. Something as simple as driving a mile further than you normally would, walking in a direction you wouldn't normally take. Little things like this will seem massive once you've achieved them, and will do wonders for your self-esteem. You'll see that with patience you're able to cope. It may sound like a cop out, but as you're seeing for yourself, these big goals you have are causing you even more anxiety. Think big, but start small.

I do, and forever will, advocate seeking professional help. I have on numerous occasions refused counselling myself because I'm not comfortable with that situation, but I talked to my doctor and that was enough. Every time I go see her now for whatever reason, she still asks me how I'm doing with everything that happened 5+ years ago. There's various medical routes that can be taken, but YOU are the only one who can make the progress. All this 'doctors don't listen' is shit. Yes, some aren't as sympathetic and don't take enough time to listen, but there are others out there. Change your doctor, go to a clinic, phone a helpline, whatever. There will be someone to listen.

A very different example but proves my point anyway: For around 2 years I was consistently catching colds/viruses and struggling to shake them off. I literally had a cold for over a month at one point, and was off school/work at least one day per month. I saw my nurse practioner, who suggested that because of things going on in my life (my Mum was battling cancer whilst I was taking my A Levels) she though it was all in my head, and I needed counselling. I saw her quite a few times to be met with the same reaction. Finally, 2 years later I got fed up and saw the head of the surgery with my Mum. He diagnosed me with Coeliac Disease, and since changing my diet to cut out gluten I have had 2 sick days in 2 years. So she didn't listen, but someone else did!