Posts: 670
Threads: 80
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
10
Location: the petrol station
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
Quote:We were ready for more. With his womb raider hammering deep into my pink velvet sausage wallet, the sensation of his spam javelin smashing my cervix made me quake like a tasered slab of chopped liver.
Enjoy!
http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/
Serious.
Posts: 3,441
Threads: 150
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
14
Location: Beccles, Suffolk
Car Model/Spec: 306 HDI
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
Quote:The feeling of his baby gravy dribbling down my throat got my spaff flowing quicker than snot off a whip. Within no time, I could feel the shitty love piss sliming from my other vagina and all over my beef curtains. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his tenderloin truncheon made my flange custard slobber like a George Foreman grill. He arced a giant corn-eyed butt snake on my chesticles just so he could suck it up like a pig at a trough. Hours of pounding like this would leave any girl's velcro triangle looking like a werewolf with it's throat cut, and I was no different!
Dafuq
306 HDI, soon to be XUD
Posts: 7,825
Threads: 465
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
114
Location: Cullompton Devon
Car Model/Spec: Vauxhall
Thanks: 1
Given 98 thank(s) in 92 post(s)
Quote:The mixture of Mr. Hanky and cock custard in my rusty bullet hole created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. By now, my soft-shelled tuna taco was dribbling like a jizz waterfall. When he removed his eight inches of throbbing pink jesus from my poop chute,
lmao
Posts: 7,347
Threads: 163
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
53
Location: Leeds
Car Model/Spec: 406 HDI
Thanks: 0
Given 18 thank(s) in 15 post(s)
“With my open-faced ham sandwich now much like a blind cobbler's thumb, he thought it was time to start sliding my puckered brown eye. Is now the time to tell him I really need to arc a corn-eyed butt snake, I wondered? There was love mayonnaise leaching from his sperminator and I was wetter than an Italian cruise ship. We were ready for more. By now, my ground zero grotto was sliming like a jizz waterfall. After having my sperm socket thrusted, he then proceeded to hammer my soft tight anus. The feeling of his penis pudding oozing down my throat got my shrimp sap flowing quicker than greased shit off a shiny shovel."
Literally crying with laughter
Posts: 19,854
Threads: 581
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
195
Location: Bournemouth
Car Model/Spec: Supercharged 306 GTi6
Thanks: 36
Given 82 thank(s) in 78 post(s)
“The unrelenting orgasms from his skin flute pounding my salmon slit made me come so hard, I began sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown. My salmon slit was trembling like jelly. It was bliss having his thrill drill shoved inside me again; stuffing my shame portal with squash just didn't get my gammon alley pouring like it used to. By now, my clam-flavoured pothole was draining like Adele waiting for Greggs to open. After having my spunk dungeon hammered, he then proceeded to pound my fart valve.”
FLOL crying here!
Team Eaton
1999 China Blue 306 GTi6 - Eaton Supercharged - 214.5bhp 181lbft
Posts: 8,423
Threads: 171
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
46
Location: Portsmouth
Car Model/Spec: Black 3dr Dturbo
Thanks: 0
Given 1 thank(s) in 1 post(s)
“The feeling of his Da Vinci load salivating down my throat got my tuna tunnel tears flowing quicker than a greased weasel shit. When he removed his slut slayer from my mud flap, he was pleasantly surprised to see a colon cobra staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to lap the corn-eyed butt snake off his love lollipop. With my purple cabbage now much like a gutted trout, he thought it was time to start plunging my soft tight anus. Is now the time to tell him I really need to blast a colon cobra, I wondered? By now, my vaginal bacon buffet was weeping like a rabid dog. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his chorizo howitzer made my flange custard haemorrhage like a slavering dog.”
This is f*cking awesome haha
Posts: 3,441
Threads: 150
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
14
Location: Beccles, Suffolk
Car Model/Spec: 306 HDI
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
Why do people read/enjoy this shit?
306 HDI, soon to be XUD
Posts: 2,659
Threads: 115
Joined: Apr 2012
Reputation:
26
Location: Stow
Car Model/Spec: 306
Thanks: 3
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
“When he removed his stilton sword from my ring piece, he was pleasantly surprised to see a toilet twinkie staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to gobble the sewer trout off his wensleydale wand. The hammering makes me spout my flange custard all over his ample cock. He munched on my flappy meal, even though I'd been on the rag for the best part of a week. There was penis pudding flowing from his greasy slimelight and I was wetter than an otter's pocket. We were ready for more. The unrelenting orgasms from his gristle missile f*cking my tuna canal made me come so hard, I began sweating like a pregnant nun.
ROFL
Posts: 1,776
Threads: 82
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation:
14
Location: Droitwich, Worcestershire
Car Model/Spec: P0XY Ph2 Dtub 5dr
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
“Within no time, I could feel the shitty magician's wax salivating from my brown eye and all over my lunchmeat. I can't wait to chow down on the steamin' semen from his cheese-crusted cock. The seemingly never-ending streams of baby gravy emanating from his blind butler soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio. My ground zero grotto was trembling like a tasered slab of chopped liver. It was bliss having his flesh gordon rammed inside me again; stuffing my clam-flavoured pothole with barbie doll just didn't get my tuna canal squirting like it used to.
Roflmfaowpmsl !!!
Posts: 10,864
Threads: 117
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
119
Location: Southampton
Car Model/Spec: 306 HDi and friends
Thanks: 13
Given 106 thank(s) in 106 post(s)
Posts: 1,750
Threads: 131
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
6
Location: Loughton, Essex
Car Model/Spec: MX5
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
Quote:The unrelenting orgasms from his spunk-filled spam rocket hammering my bearded haddock pasty made me come so hard, I began sweating like a white mouse in a tampon factory. Within no time, I could feel the shitty creamy load salivating from my puckered brown eye and all over my open-faced ham sandwich. The seemingly never-ending streams of magician's wax emanating from his tenderloin truncheon soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio. I can't wait to chow down on the steamin' semen from his washington monument. The mixture of toilet twinkie and ectoplasm in my turd cutter created the delicious sphincter sauce that he was so fond of.
Quote:(15:06:27) Toms306: Wd40d it and had a good tug, came straight off
Posts: 951
Threads: 3
Joined: Apr 2012
Reputation:
7
Location: Bradford West Yorks'
Car Model/Spec: 306 Rallye
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
I'm sat at work crying with laughter at some of these.... F#cking hillarious!
Posts: 18,242
Threads: 386
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
87
Location: Suffolk
Car Model/Spec: Focus Titanium
Thanks: 1
Given 118 thank(s) in 117 post(s)
Eurgh!
Posts: 3,441
Threads: 150
Joined: Dec 2011
Reputation:
14
Location: Beccles, Suffolk
Car Model/Spec: 306 HDI
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
It's funny, someone tweeted that they want a relationship out of fifty shades of grey, maybe I better go shit on her then ra*e her
306 HDI, soon to be XUD
|