The girlfriend rant thread

[the milkman]

lady garden punt andy?

[Andy]

Yeah... When they annoy you so much with their never ending shite you give them a 'light' tap on their lady area to shut them the f*ck up!

Works I'll have you know.

It's what's called 'keeping your pimp hand strong'

[ginge191]

!!!!

[Jonny b]

Yeah... When they annoy you so much with their never ending shite you give them a 'light' tap on their lady area to shut them the f*ck up!

Works I'll have you know.

It's what's called 'keeping your pimp hand strong'

See much as I like you Andy and I do!! A man should never raise a hand or a foot to a woman! Not that I have not wanted to but wouldn't. Had an ex that used to punch herself in the face then tell everyone I did it! Ha ha crazy bitch

[declantg]

Hate it when you pop it in their bum and they go crazy.

Woman the f*ck up.

[Andy]

Yeah... When they annoy you so much with their never ending shite you give them a 'light' tap on their lady area to shut them the f*ck up!

Works I'll have you know.

It's what's called 'keeping your pimp hand strong'

See much as I like you Andy and I do!! A man should never raise a hand or a foot to a woman! Not that I have not wanted to but wouldn't. Had an ex that used to punch herself in the face then tell everyone I did it! Ha ha crazy bitch

Jonny FYI! I'm just against raising a hand to a woman as you are. No girls were injured in the making of the c*nt punt. I'd never 'hit a woman' we had a discussion at length on my 'was I in the right thread' for hitting that guy! Remember?

[Jonny b]

Yep I remember bud, what's a punt in the lady garden then? Sounds like a kick in the Cnut to me ha ha

[Andy]

It's just a 'tap' with a knuckle in that area. Nothing hard 'giggity'

[Dicky]

My ex had an annoying f*cking habit of tickling me, poking me, wanting a conversation with me when I would be in bed f*cked from work, usually 3am in the morning when I worked all day then worked on the doors in the night.. Got under my skin!

Also laying in bed for 2 hours in the morning 'cuddling' when I'm awake, I want to be out of bed.. shit showered shaved with a big mug of coffee and have some breakfast. Not laying in bed for hours watching Bargain Hunt 'cuddling'. If she was bouncing on my cock for 2 hours in the morning I wouldn't mind so much..

[Parksy87]

When you tell your mrs she needs a new tyre then she asks why and thinks its hard work to turn the steering full lock get out the car and take a look at the bald spot but she'd rather go shopping.

Getting a phone call saying she's broke down to find the fan belt shredded and alternator pulley disintigrated then when youve spent new years eve in the gutter sorting it out in the rain she gets in and says its not squeaking any more and the battery light has stopped flickering.

[MrsMidnight]

Geeze! Stop moaning and do what Danny does whenever I'm annoying him, tell them to shut the f*ck up and push them of the bed/ sofa etc lol

[Jonny b]

It's just a 'tap' with a knuckle in that area. Nothing hard 'giggity'

Ha ha silly fecker lol

---

And Iam with Emma when my better half annoys me I just tell her bollox and f*ck off to the pub!! Then come back pissed and annoy her lol

[kernow_joe]

at the moment wanting a lift to work, getting upset she'll be there too early, so taking her time which then makes me late!

she's going to be on the bus at this rate

[THE_Liam]

she's going to be on the bus at this rate

That's a hell of a punishment round your way as well!

[aaron_one]

Bitches be crazy and no matter how hard you try you'll never win, so this threads a good idea haha

[silverzx]

Andy you should never hit a woman mate.

[cwspellowe]

Hmm.

The missus likes motors, encourages me to play on the Xbox because she enjoys watching, she wears tiny kitsch/lolita outfits around the house and smokes pole like a champion.

All rather annoying things.

[Andy]

*Sigh*

[Jonny b]

*Sigh*

Ha ha sorry bud

---

Fecking woman beater lol

[David]

I'm gunna join this rant now with my massive f*cking rant!

My other half does my f*cking tree in by saying you don't love me blah blah f*cking blah! I travel 600 pissing miles every weekend to seeing her for less then a day because of her stupid job and she still moans that we hardly spend time together when's its her bloody fault!

Secondly I couldn't come back last weekend because my gearbox was broken and she rips my bloody head off because I weren't home! How the hell is that my fault?

I feel like punching her in the head right now

[Andy]

By punching her in the head I take it you mean her bean?

[David]

No ill kick her in her bean first then punch her in her head

[Jukie88]

We hard square duvet with the stitching going horizontal if I put it in the cover and it's not horizontal I have to do it again ....... My response is usually It's a f*cking square it's the same anyway around you daft twat, but no it somehow doesn't fit right...... What the actual
f*ck anyone else have situations where other halfs claim to be right even when you PROVE them wrong !!!!

[Andy]

I was joking. :L

Seeing as people think I'm woman beating!

[THE_Liam]

To be fair, there are 2 sides to every coin. Came in from a hard day at work to a beef casserole on the table, a beer already opened and waiting for me and then a cheeky f*ck over the arm of the sofa...

Sometimes, you remember why you love 'em

[the milkman]

To be fair, there are 2 sides to every coin. Came in from a hard day at work to a beef casserole on the table, a beer already opened and waiting for me and then a cheeky f*ck over the arm of the sofa...

Sometimes, you remember why you love 'em

f*ck that liam!!





What if your beer went flat/warm?

[Niall]

To be fair, there are 2 sides to every coin. Came in from a hard day at work to a beef casserole on the table, a beer already opened and waiting for me and then a cheeky f*ck over the arm of the sofa...

Sometimes, you remember why you love 'em

f*ck that liam!!





What if your beer went flat/warm?

This lad speaks sense. As much as my bird gets on my nerves, it is nice to go round hers and as soon as i walk through the door, she asks me if i want a beer then gets me one. Thats why i love her! Oh and she bakes shit loads of cakes

[THE_Liam]

To be fair, there are 2 sides to every coin. Came in from a hard day at work to a beef casserole on the table, a beer already opened and waiting for me and then a cheeky f*ck over the arm of the sofa...

Sometimes, you remember why you love 'em

f*ck that liam!!





What if your beer went flat/warm?

This lad speaks sense. As much as my bird gets on my nerves, it is nice to go round hers and as soon as i walk through the door, she asks me if i want a beer then gets me one. Thats why i love her! Oh and she bakes shit loads of cakes

I had a couple of beers and the beef casserole first obviously, and a few cigs. I mean, I love a good f*ck but not when I'm hungry!

[the milkman]

No no no sir. I'm on about the "had a beer waiting" part! Make her put in extra effort ad crack it when you sit down not left to go flat! Imagine if there was a 5min delay due to traffic ect that would of been a waste of beer!

[THE_Liam]

No no no sir. I'm on about the "had a beer waiting" part! Make her put in extra effort ad crack it when you sit down not left to go flat! Imagine if there was a 5min delay due to traffic ect that would of been a waste of beer!

She knew I was coming, diesel goes mental when he hears my car coming down the street