Time for a Fresh Start - Updated Page 3, Jan 2013

[Poodle]

Besides what Dum-dum said, breaking cars for an income isn't as easy as all that. If you really want to make money out of it you need to be turning over a decent number of cars and have room for the resulting back-stock of parts that haven't sold yet. Besides this you will find a variety of licenses, insurances and other bits of red tape to be a legally functioning vehicle reclamation business, believe me i looked into setting up as a breakers myself, it's a lot of work and to be profitable would need a pretty big initial outlay.

Don't get me wrong, if that's the way you want to go and you've got the resources, then drash on! Otherwise, as something on the side it could work well, but it would only be something on the side. As i said before, doing something, anything, is key, even if you can't see the benefit in it at the time.

[Eeyore]

What you really need to do Tom is get a house with me out in the country. With a concrete drive way. Rent would be cheap and space for cars would be readily available. Ill go and work and earn money and you can break cars and feed the kids.

[kingy]

rofl.....

[1616six]

rofl.....

[Niall]

rofl.....

"Can, can you tell if its in yet?"

[Toms306]

What you really need to do Tom is get a house with me out in the country. With a concrete drive way. Rent would be cheap and space for cars would be readily available. Ill go and work and earn money and you can break cars and feed the kids.

Kids? I wasn't aware you had a vagina? Surprising what you learn about people.

[kentiiboii]

What you really need to do Tom is get a house with me out in the country. With a concrete drive way. Rent would be cheap and space for cars would be readily available. Ill go and work and earn money and you can break cars and feed the kids.

Kids? I wasn't aware you had a vagina? Surprising what you learn about people.

Gay couple can adopt now Tom get with the times!

[Kimmie]

Tom another thing to suggest is signing up on Twitter. As much as you talk to all of us, very few understand where you're coming from, however on Twitter you'll find hundreds of people facing the same daily issues. There's a wealth of information to be shared, and for the Coeliac community at least, a great support group. I even ended up going for dinner in London with a group of Coeliac tweeters last year.... it's great to have a support group around you who COMPLETELY understand your situation, especially if you can't get that support at home.

[Toms306]

Tom another thing to suggest is signing up on Twitter. As much as you talk to all of us, very few understand where you're coming from, however on Twitter you'll find hundreds of people facing the same daily issues. There's a wealth of information to be shared, and for the Coeliac community at least, a great support group. I even ended up going for dinner in London with a group of Coeliac tweeters last year.... it's great to have a support group around you who COMPLETELY understand your situation, especially if you can't get that support at home.

I've never used twitter at all, guess I could try it.

The issue with talking to people like myself though, is the same as going on nomorepanic (honestly, I wouldn't recommend going over there for anyone, you leave more depressed than when you entered!) because its full other depressing people that hate themselves and just need somewhere to vent.

[Kimmie]

Twitter's not like that though, at least from my experience. Yes it won't be perfect, but there's such a diverse amount of people from all over the world, companies, medical experts....they're all there with a common interest and the need to share their experiences etc/ It's always worth a shot (just make sure you put something describing your situation in your description bit, like 'IBS' as it helps with recommendations/people searching). If it helps get you started I'm on there as @coeliacme

[bigcheez2k3]

Use hashtags, e.g. #IBS #306 #Tomisafanny That's the main way of sharing views on a common subject on twitter.

EDIT: or #bitcheslovecheez I really like that one

[Toms306]

Well, bit of updateage here.

Phase 1 complete - one of my nans now knows about the main issues. The other has the tact and secret keeping ability of a 5 year old, so she won't be told.

Phase 2 in progress - My mum is having her op on weds....this theoretically means that afterwards she will be at home without the other clingy people here so I can try to explain the situation to her. I've tried writing a letter but i cant do it so gonna bite the bullet and go for it anyway.


Now, after discussing things with my nan she has given me a fairly decent option - this is to receive my inheritance early (she'd like to see it used for good rather than not know what happens with it) and can draw it out for me asap if I choose to take the offer. Now the idea would be that I could use that money to get out of the catch 22 situation, to move into a flat with enough money to keep me going for a few months. Ideally I'd be able to find a job within say a month that pays enough to keep it going.

Anxiety levels would be reduced, which in turn reduce ocd and IBS problems. And I honestly.think in that situation I'd be ok working again. Start small obviously with a part time job somewhere, anywhere really.

Now I know I've gotta take a chance that I am able to do this, what I don't want to happen is that I take the money, get nowhere at all and end up living back at home again. Noone can say whether that will or won't happen.

It's the first time I've been able to see a way out of the situation that I've ended up in though. So what do you reckon? Good idea or not?

[Niall]

As i said earlier tom, its going to go one of two ways. Either your going to waste the money and be living back at home in a few months or you will succeed and get over your issues. I do believe that its up to you which happens. Will be a lot of hard work for you to get into your own place and get a job ASAP but if you can do it, i genuinely think it will work for you!

[Strikeforce]

With the way you say that everything gets worse when u try something new i wouldnt risk wasting the money if it goes tits up, if you had a job first then perhaps that will be better but i know the score with you and that probably wont happen.
Dont rush whatever you choose give it some good thought

[Toms306]

Yeah I agree niall. And anyone that knows me fairly well will know I dont mind hard work at all. The only thing I obviously can't be sure of is whether my mind/guts will be up for constant hard work. Only one way to find out though I guess, and no, not fight haha.

---

With the way you say that everything gets worse when u try something new i wouldnt risk wasting the money if it goes tits up, if you had a job first then perhaps that will be better but i know the score with you and that probably wont happen.
Dont rush whatever you choose give it some good thought

No its not necessarily something new that I have a problem with, its change, which for a while has always been change for the worst.

There's no chance of getting a job while I'm here in all honesty, I know a lot of you won't be able to understand that though.

But you're right, and I'm not gonna rush into anything without a bit more research.

[Strikeforce]

How long would you be able to keep afloat without a job if you dont mind me asking?
Because if it proves hard to find a job would it not increase panic and worry that if you dont find a job soon you will have to go home?

Hope you get on your feet tho tom

[Andy]

Just remember what we spoke about mate. Its all there in ermm, Grey and White, so refer back to it to keep your mind refreshed.

I believe in you... So you should too!

[Toms306]

Thanks Andy.

Striker - well this is whaT I need to work out, apart from food and fuel, I'm not sure what other things cost tbh (which .I did ask in this thread ages ago lol). I'm finding most rented flats in town are around 350-400 pcm, some included bills, some don't. But I don't really know what else I'd have to budget for.

[Kimmie]

Would you be able to start the job hunting process, maybe even attend interviews/accept a job before you move out? That way you'll know the score money-wise, and it'll decrease the pressure of keeping yourself afloat?

[Toms306]

Yeah, I am looking around but really depends which area I move to. The issue with getting too far with that is if they say 'right, and you're ok to start asap yeah...'. The answer would have to be no until I'd moved which would likely lose me that job. I also won't know how long before I can settle into a routine and control toilet issues which are the main ones to control to a certain extent before I start work.

[C.A.R.]

Using the inheretance money to move out is a bad move IMO.

Using it for a deposit is fine, but using it to pay bills / rent etc is just flushing it away.

[Toms306]

Using the inheretance money to move out is a bad move IMO.

Using it for a deposit is fine, but using it to pay bills / rent etc is just flushing it away.

In a way I agree, and if I wasn't in this situation, I'd never 'waste' it like that.......but then on the other hand I'll only waste it on a car in a year or two otherwise, and surely if it can help now thats better.

[Toms306]

Right, can someone tell me exactly what I should be budgetting for if I'm on my own? As I think this is what needs sorting before anything else.

How much do you guys (that live alone) spend on stuff like food and bills etc? I've got no idea how I'd go about working out this kinda thing before actually trying it?

[C.A.R.]

I'm sure there was a thread on this just the other day.

The problem is that I support a small family so it would be very difficult in your circumstances. I put aside £1,000 a month for rent / council tax / bills. Mrs pays for the food etc. which is approx. £45 a week (cos of the baby - before it was £30 ish). We live well though, we rarely go without which is nice.

I would urge you very strongly not to blow the inheritence on the rent, it's just silly. You'll need 4-6 weeks rent up front for a deposit - put it towards that if you can't raise the funds in any other way. If you're not disciplined enough then you'll find yourself being evicted 4 months down the line because you can't afford rent, and when your poor old nan does pop her clogs you won't receive a penny.

Why didn't you go to university? It sounds like it could solve a helluva lot of your problems in one move.

[C2K]

Tom,

With regards to bills you have to think about the following, this is a guide based on my circumstances in a 3 bed semi.

Gas and Elec - £55 per month with dual fuel discount
Water - £18 (on a meter, was 65 in my last house on rates so be careful)
Home insurance - £20
Council Tax - £110 with single occupancy discount - £83
TV License - £13
Internet/House Phone - £25

And of course Mobile Phone, Mortgage, car insurance if you pay monthly.

As Chris says it's normally 1.5 months rent as deposit, and first months rent up front so you can very often be laying 1K down up front.

[Toms306]

I'm sure there was a thread on this just the other day.

The problem is that I support a small family so it would be very difficult in your circumstances. I put aside £1,000 a month for rent / council tax / bills. Mrs pays for the food etc. which is approx. £45 a week (cos of the baby - before it was £30 ish). We live well though, we rarely go without which is nice.

I would urge you very strongly not to blow the inheritence on the rent, it's just silly. You'll need 4-6 weeks rent up front for a deposit - put it towards that if you can't raise the funds in any other way. If you're not disciplined enough then you'll find yourself being evicted 4 months down the line because you can't afford rent, and when your poor old nan does pop her clogs you won't receive a penny.

Why didn't you go to university? It sounds like it could solve a helluva lot of your problems in one move.

If you were talking about Kent's thread it just ended up as an argument about benefits didnt it?

I expect (well, hope!) things would be cheaper for me seeing as I dont have a missus or a baby, but atleast thats a figure though so gives somewhere to start.

I am extremely disciplined with money, I managed food and fuel off small amounts of money when I had to give up my job - (went from ~£100 a week to £30ish!). I dont buy unneccessary shit that isn't needed. And most of the time I'll mull over the cost of something 'extra' so much that I end up deciding not to go ahead with it (remember the xbox thread a couple of weeks back...yeah, I didnt get one). I don't mind going without things at all if I end up in a better situation than I am now (although tbf, I buy so little I cant imagine anything I'd need to go without lol) BUT it's things like bills that may be harder to 'cap', but that said I don't really use much water or leccy as I've been brought up not to waste it. Oh and my mobile phone bill - £10 every 4 months lol.

As long as I can get by and can be comfortable and above all RELAX somewhere on my own I'm not at all bothered by luxuries, except maybe bog roll that isnt made of sandpaper haha. But really, if I can do this and it allows me to get into a job that would be a massive acheivement that I cant see occuring in any other way.

Yes the deposit costs a lot, and rent obviously isn't cheap, but the potential difference that it'd make to me and my situation would be huge, it's a bit frustrating that I can't really explain to you why that is though.

If however, I made a complete cock up and realised say 2 months in that I couldn't sustain it then I'd have to take it on the chin and pull out before using all the money. People are always telling me to take oppertunities and try new things....I guess this is something I shouldn't just chuck away.

There were lots of reasons I didn't go to Uni - Im not smart enough, I'm not interested enough in one subject, I don't see myself ever doing a job where I'd need a degree - So I wouldn't just go to Uni for the sake of it, using tax payers money to fund my moving out. And obviously the travelling wouldn't work for me, and I wouldnt be at all interested in the social aspect.

Tom,

With regards to bills you have to think about the following, this is a guide based on my circumstances in a 3 bed semi.

Gas and Elec - £55 per month with dual fuel discount
Water - £18 (on a meter, was 65 in my last house on rates so be careful)
Home insurance - £20
Council Tax - £110 with single occupancy discount - £83
TV License - £13
Internet/House Phone - £25

And of course Mobile Phone, Mortgage, car insurance if you pay monthly.

As Chris says it's normally 1.5 months rent as deposit, and first months rent up front so you can very often be laying 1K down up front.

Thanks for that Simon.

Your gas and electric seems high for one though doesn't it? But then I suppose it takes a fair bit to heat a 3 bed house and heating is the biggest drain afaik. Then the washing machine/dryer or oven I guess. We don't have gas here, but I think they do in town where I'd be moving to.

The other things dont seem so bad though, except the council tax, I'm not sure how it works, I see you pay less for signle occupancy, do you pay less if you live in a smaller house as well?

As said above, mobile phone bill is like £40 a year, if that haha! Always use email or facebook chat where possible, free things ftw...

Car insurance is paid yearly, still from savings from when I was at college (EMA/bursary) and work (doing more overtime than my guts could handle). Theres enough to cover insurance for two years, plus any 'fixing' bills and stuff like tax..oh and of course its making interest too, at like 1% haha. The only thing I'd need to worry about is fuel, but I'd use a hell of a lot less fuel living in town anyway. So that gives me some sort of 'buffer' that I know even if I have no spare money to start with, the car is sorted for a bit, and also if I really got in the shit I could use that to get myself out, but thats only for emergency use though really. Obviously the aim is to get into a job where I do earn more than I need and can shove it back into the savings account, but I know that wouldn't happen immediately.

[C2K]

Mine's not high really, probably low compared to others. Having said that though I use what I want, when i want. I don't waste energy, but I don't sit around in a cold house any more because I want to avoid the bills. You can't just turn the heating off in winter so I need it on even when i go away for the weekend or whatever to prevent the pipes freezing. All in, they end up slightly in credit over the course of 12 months, but in that time the bills have usually gone up twice for no explicable reason other than the energy companies feel like it.

Council tax varies based on the band the house lies in: http://www.ipswich.gov.uk/site/scripts/d...oryID=1010

I said it before, but I think it could be what you need. Try and find a small flat, or a small terraced house with 2 beds or something depending whats in your town. I rented a lovely 2 bed mid terrace house in Coventry in a quiet area, it was so easy to keep warm and it was nice and quiet.

[Toms306]

Ah ok, we don't have central heating here tbf, just burn electricity as and when we need heat lol. And mum won't have the heaters on if no-ones here incase it burns the house down.

And that's interesting about the council tax - calculated at house prices in 1991, good to see its up to date lol.

And yeah I think you're right tbh. Am looking around now.

[C.A.R.]

Yes the deposit costs a lot, and rent obviously isn't cheap, but the potential difference that it'd make to me and my situation would be huge, it's a bit frustrating that I can't really explain to you why that is though.

If however, I made a complete cock up and realised say 2 months in that I couldn't sustain it then I'd have to take it on the chin and pull out before using all the money. People are always telling me to take oppertunities and try new things....I guess this is something I shouldn't just chuck away.

Here's the thing though...

You will be buying in to an 'Assured Shorthold Tenancy' or AST, which will have a minimum period (usually 6 months) on contract. Breaking the contract will mean you need to give 1 months' notice minimum, sometimes more.

You have to be kind of committed to move out Tom, as simply 'pulling the plug' will often land you a lot worse off.

[Toms306]

Phase 2 in progress - My mum is having her op on weds....this theoretically means that afterwards she will be at home without the other clingy people here so I can try to explain the situation to her. I've tried writing a letter but i cant do it so gonna bite the bullet and go for it anyway.

Quoted myself here because this is looking unlikely now.... Due to the hospital changing my Mums op date yet again (yes, less than 24hrs notice this time...they really cant organise a piss up in a brewery........oh, and they broke the confidentiality laws yet again by openly telling me what was happening without even asking who I was...I think its fairly obvious on the phone that I'm not 'Mrs' at all lol.) So yeah, not sure whether to say anything to her or not now. Gonna be a long wait if I dont, but on the other hand I dont want to worry her about something else if shes already worrying about the op.

Here's the thing though...

You will be buying in to an 'Assured Shorthold Tenancy' or AST, which will have a minimum period (usually 6 months) on contract. Breaking the contract will mean you need to give 1 months' notice minimum, sometimes more.

You have to be kind of committed to move out Tom, as simply 'pulling the plug' will often land you a lot worse off.

Yeah I reaslise that, thats why I said if it got to 2 months and I realised it had horribly wrong I'd give in (plus the months notice) before losing everything rather than struggle throguh until everything had gone. Obviously the idea is that that doesnt happen though!! Just trying to think of all possible eventualities...