Job Hunt and Health Issues

[Niall]

A old colleague used to ALWAYS pull sickies and it was so obvious. One day he phoned in to our manager and said he was off sick. Obviously i could only hear one side of the story but my manager laid into him. "f*ck sake, you were out on the piss last night, let the team down" blah blah. Next thing he walks to his computer and opens his emails then bursts out laughing and says fair enough guess you are ill.

Got off the phone and invited everyone into our office to look at the computer.

The guy off sick was genuinely sick. He reckons he had mild food poisoning. Throwing up everywhere, shitting non stop. Anyway, he's thrown up on him self in bed in the middle of the night so gone and had a bath. Sitting in the bath hanging over the bog to throw up in there and he's reached once and suddenly the water has changed colour in the bath. Yep, shit him self and being typical sick shit, it was like half melted chocolate ice cream. Filled the bath with shitty water and lumps.
He was so proud! We were looking at the computer because as proof he was ill, he had sent a picture of the bath filled with shitty water and floaters to our manager. He wasn't embarrassed at all lol