Unconventional Income

[Toms306]

If I'm being brutally honest Tom and I don't want to offend you, I think the reason you're stuck in this rut is that you've got it easy - and I know you won't agree with that.

You're 22, live at home, have a decent daily and a weekend toy, don't work, and 'get by'. I use the phrase get by as you clearly aren't happy in the position you're in, and do want to make a change - however in the current position because you can get by day to day it's a case of you aren't forced into making a change.

If it were a case of you had nowhere to live, you would be down the council offices begging for a 1 bed flat anywhere you could get one, this would then literally force you to take any job you could take, and there onward you'd get worse before getting better, but the change would have no other way but to happen.

I've known you for years now and as you know I've tried to help in every way possible both openly on here and privately, I've seen you at rock bottom, make progress (Norwich for example - you did great.) and then back to the start again. I don't know how you do it - I take it from what you say that you currently live off of savings/bits of cash you make here and there, what are you going to do when the savings dry up? (I guess that's why you're asking now?)

If there was an easy way of making money, preferably from home - We would all be doing it!

You certainly aren't the only one with the issues you have, have you spoken to other people with similar issues? How do they get by? They must either work, or get benefits?

You need to battle these demons and face up to them, from what you've said it comes across like it's easier to give up than fight, you mention that you don't really like doing anything.. not many people do! You know what many of us do for a living, do you think we like doing it? I'd much rather do something I enjoy, but it's difficult to find that.

Again please don't take offence as I'm only trying to help as a friend!

You've gotta try harder than that if you want to offend me.  

I think your choice of words there is poor, theres nothing easy about the situation, I don't cope with it at all and its more that time moves on I get dragged along with it than anything else.  That lack of coping and the fact everything moves so quickly and is just overwhelming is why I don't make any progress here.  I mean were almost in February, I'm sure December only started a fortnight ago!

However I do agree with your point, I'm not living in a cardboard box, and I can 'afford' to get by.    There is a risk I could make my situation worse, and I don't like that risk so find it near impossible to commit a lot of time and money into possibly making something worse....what if I still cant cope after moving out?  What if I cant afford it even with a job and end up in debt that I cant pay off?  What if I have another breakdown?  What if I'll never be able to cope with life?  I did try to force myself back into earning a couple of years back when money was running low, but it didn't work, I just bought less food, stopped going out to use less fuel (which then caused going out to become a massive problem again!) and didn't buy anything unnecessary.  Then I had some bereavements within that year and inheritance topped up the savings so I started trying to get out again.

If I was forced to live on the streets I'd probably just top myself, why not, nothing to lose by that point. 

With the current money situation, the reality is the savings won't dry up for years on my current budget with the inheritance as well.  Even if they did I'd find ways round it, sell the car, tools, etc.  Plus I make a bit extra selling stuff and doing odd jobs for old ladies.  There won't be a point where I'm forced into it for years, but you're right that without that its hard to make the leap...

I don't believe everyone would go for an easy way of making money at all, if that was the case no-one would do anything other than a minimum hours, minimum wage job...but most people like a challenge, and having extra income for a bigger house/car etc, and of course bragging rights.    I must admit, I never have had the 'drive' for a challenge, mediocrity will do me lol.

As I've already explained, I haven't found anyone in the same situation as me after years of forumming, I really wish I could! - I can find people with the same individual problems, but they have more options because of that.  The one thing they all have in common though, and I hear every damn time I ask how people get on is 'I have a really supportive girlfriend/boyfriend, I couldn't have done it without her/him'.  

When I say I don't like doing anything, I mean anything!  Not just from a job point of view, but most people like something, even if its just food or intercourse, so can reward themselves after a hard task.  I cant really find anything to do that for me, when I think I'll like something I usually end up thinking 'well, this is shit, why did I bother'.  

If I've learnt anything over the last couple of years, it's that you cant fight everything, you have to chose your battles and let some things slide.  This makes some things worse while others get better unfortunately, so then you work on the thing that's getting worse and that means the thing that was getting better is now dropping again, its a never ending battle, and a losing one even without trying to fight everything!  And frankly I'm knackered by 5pm every day just trying to fight through the day, whether that's getting up, eating, going out out, its all a battle that takes energy that I don't have any more and I'm having to let more and more slide now. 

Something has to give eventually, but I have a feeling it'll be my sanity before anything else.