Time for a Fresh Start - Updated Page 3, Jan 2013

[Toms306]

There's only one person that can help you at the moment and that's you!

I couldn't agree more, not some doctor or some f*cking useless counsellor - me. And i wish I'd realised this a long time ago instead of wanting someone to tell me a quick fix for my desperate situation. Which has just lengthened it!

It's not gonna change quickly, and the ONLY way it'll change is if I try and 'ignore' anxiety (which fuels everything else) and live life along side it...it will then slowly disappear. OCD can't be fixed, neither can IBS, however they can be reduced mainly by reducing stress or anxiety.

What I've been doing for so long is trying to fix my problems before carrying on with life, which I now know is the completely wrong way to look at it. There's no 'fix', it can't be fixed (which is what I struggle to get my head round...there's no problem in mechanics for example that can't physically be fixed) so why try to fix an unfixable thing? f*ck it, it'll go, albeit slowly and gradually but only if I keep pushing through it. Take this morning for example, lots of important times and meeting people and new places sorting out moving my nan into her flat - toilet issues were worse than they've been for a while, and usually at that point I'd stay at home panicking all day...difference was today I just said 'f*ck it'....and went anyway, not the best strategy as the consequences could be serious, however they weren't, yes I felt awful and wouldn't chance a fart, but I actually achieved several small goals for the day.

Tom I honestly think you should secure a job before spending money on rent.

Because I don't want to see you more un happy because your inheritance was wasted on X amount of months of independantness

Ditto. You have time to find a job first then you can find a place to go.

Guys, I dunno how many times I've said this, its not at all possible where I am currently. I realise you can't necessarily understand it, and it frustrates me that I can't really explain it in a way people can understand.

First of all Tom I know you wasn't technically shouting but you was getting your point across which is more of what I ment.
I've read the whole thread so I've been watching everything. Just trying to find possible ways to help you mate. But your never going to do this on your own. You need someone there to help you.
You remind me of my mrs a lot. You always find the negatives in everything you do and never consider the positives. Before you've done something you've already decided the negative is going to happen therefore you won't do it.
Always remember "you never know till you've asked".
Ok you've told your mum to a small degree but she might only think it's a little matter that you've got under controll. You need to tell her how serious it really is. Tell her your day to day routine and what happens if it gets interrupted like your stepdad coming home. The little things that your thinking about your stepdad being there to us lot seem like nothing but to you there massive things. You need to make sure you tell your mum just how bad it is.

As I said you really don't know till you've asked. I understand she's not supportive now. But you don't know why your just acting as if she doesn't care.


Sorry to hear about your gran, mines been in a care home since i was 13 with demensha(how ever it's spelt). I havnt seen her since she went in Becuase I wanna remember the good times with her, the last memory I have of her is me coming downstairs in me boxers and her calling me a fat b*sterd which at 13 isn't really good to hear. But I've been told she hasn't got long left I really wanna see her but really don't wanna she her the way she is.
But I think moving in with your gran really would benifit you both. I know you don't clean every 5 minutes I was exaggerating but your help her out more than what she would be doing for you. Specially if she's really struggling.
If she's lived in her house where she is now for a long time then maybe shed really appreciate the help to keep it.

iam the same with my gran, she was diagnosted with alzheimer's disease last year. very very hard time that was last year. i backed my mum so the pain was shared. the worst part was packing my grans flat up, as there were a lot of memories of my grandad and my gran. i remembered when i helped set the place up ready for them to move in etc.
hard to believe that 6 years down the line you would be packing the place up.
sad thing is most of the stuff they had got scrapped. which was sad and a waste.
i think in late 2011 i lost my gran as shes not the same person anymore
you have to laugh as you will end up crying.
christ what a hard year last was for the family.

Sorry to hear about your gran Andy.

My nans moving into a small flat tomorrow so the last few days here have been hectic here. And I've got around 3 or 4 skip fulls of stuff to clear out the house now that she's taken what she can!

I will admit i don't have any sentiment or memories about the stuff though, even though most of its been there for my entire life. Stuff is just stuff to me, however almost every damn ornament/trinket means something sentimentally to my nan so I know its hard for her, she doesn't even want to know what we get rid of as it'll upset her.