Ah ok. Theres hope everywhere really, seeing and reading about other people that have had similar issues and end up living fairly normal lives - BUT it's seeing how that's gonna happen for me that's difficult part. I mean its gotta happen eventually, surely, hasn't it? I wont still be living at home at 70 years old shitting myself and scared at the inevitabilities of the future, surely? Well, at 70 I might be shitting myself but you know what I mean lol!
See, people say money doesn't matter, and the best things in life are free, and money doesn't buy you hapiness (my Nan is a prime example of this) but the fact is without it you cant do anything at all either. I could ask my Nan (my other nan, not the one who offered me the inheritance early) to borrow some money to help me start something - she's forever telling me (especially since my Grandad passed) that she's fed up of money and she doesn't want it as she has nothing to spend it on. She even 'found' a bank account with..well, enough to buy several nice cars, just festering away making a tiny amount of interest, the interest was £3k this time, and she said to me today "The bank want me to do something with the interest but what do I want it for? I dont need the money, I suppose I could give it away to the step sons to get rid of it". £3000, yes three thousand pounds....and she doesnt want it and doesnt even care where it goes! But unfortunately she has absolutely no understanding of mental health or IBS, so i couldn't explain to her how the money or moving out would help me. I would also feel awful just taking the money without giving her anything in return - ok so i take her shopping, do the housework/garden and walk the dog etc but its hardly enough comparatively.
You're not exactly a fountain of optimism yourself Chris haha! But you're totally right, my negative attitude doesn't help anything, although I spend most of the day putting on an optimistic face for other peoples sake, shame it doesn't stick though. But it's easy to see why, I'm surrounded by pessimism and depression all the time. My Mum is always very negative and always has been, her mum (my Nan) is the same, if theres something to moan about, she'll find it...and repeat it 4 times within an hour. But then she also keeps saying she's got nothing to live for any more, she's struggling herself with arthritis and various other things, she cant do what she wants, she cant even go outside if the weathers bad risking a fall. She'd been married to my Grandad for over 20 years when he passed last year so it's understandable that she now feels 'empty'. Then theres my other Nan, who has a lot of problems - mainly hypochondria and health anxiety tbh, but she does now have real problems as well, she lives in a cottage but can no longer manage stairs, the TV and kitchen are down stairs, the toilet is upstairs, so yeah she has to chose between them atm - the compromise is having a comode downstairs in her dining room, cant even imagine how awful that must be having to have someone else clear out a comode full of your own shit. She had Pneumonia over xmas which has just made everything worse, I'll be honest I didn't think she'd see the other side of it but seems to be getting a bit better. Anyway, she also now has nothing essentially, she daren't go out on her own incase she falls, her husband passed in 2011 so she's in the same boat as my other Nan of feeling like she's got nothing. Then theres my Dad, he's annoyingly 'upbeat' about everything, but I dont believe it's real, I'm sure its the same false hope that I use when I see him as well, lucky its only once a month or so. He works 6 nights a week to pay the mortgage he's got for a shitty little flat with his wife - how can that be good? Spending all the time you have either asleep or at work? Then theres my Great Aunt, who has an incurable disease now, she's been so religious throughout her life and she knows she wont survive it, she cant work out how her God would allow it to happen and she's very noticeably depressed on the phone (she lives to far for me to visit). Again, another elderly lady with loads of funds but nothing to do with it. Then I hear about a guy who's techniacally my Grandad (lost story!) who has many problems and knows he's not got long, he has cancer that cant be treated as well as lots of other things, and he's just waiting to die too. So it just seems to me that no matter what age you are, things are shit - and I've missed out on the fun part of life being a stupid teenager and getting pissed and shagging everything and buying stupid things and spending money chavving up a car to go and crash into a hedge. I realise thats not everything, and there must be something good after you hit 21, but I just can't find anything to look forward to or to motivate me, which is made worse by all these depressive people I'm around.
I have tried anxiety forums, but they're full of people as pessimistic as me though - and health 'pro's' who just patronise people. Not any good for me at all, I dont want pity or sympathy or patronising, I want help and advice on how to change things, which you dont get over there. Its much better over here tbh, I'd much rather be talking to normal(ish!) people, and the guys on here that have helped through PM or facebook or this thread really are invaluable and deserve thanks...so err, thanks!
See, people say money doesn't matter, and the best things in life are free, and money doesn't buy you hapiness (my Nan is a prime example of this) but the fact is without it you cant do anything at all either. I could ask my Nan (my other nan, not the one who offered me the inheritance early) to borrow some money to help me start something - she's forever telling me (especially since my Grandad passed) that she's fed up of money and she doesn't want it as she has nothing to spend it on. She even 'found' a bank account with..well, enough to buy several nice cars, just festering away making a tiny amount of interest, the interest was £3k this time, and she said to me today "The bank want me to do something with the interest but what do I want it for? I dont need the money, I suppose I could give it away to the step sons to get rid of it". £3000, yes three thousand pounds....and she doesnt want it and doesnt even care where it goes! But unfortunately she has absolutely no understanding of mental health or IBS, so i couldn't explain to her how the money or moving out would help me. I would also feel awful just taking the money without giving her anything in return - ok so i take her shopping, do the housework/garden and walk the dog etc but its hardly enough comparatively.
You're not exactly a fountain of optimism yourself Chris haha! But you're totally right, my negative attitude doesn't help anything, although I spend most of the day putting on an optimistic face for other peoples sake, shame it doesn't stick though. But it's easy to see why, I'm surrounded by pessimism and depression all the time. My Mum is always very negative and always has been, her mum (my Nan) is the same, if theres something to moan about, she'll find it...and repeat it 4 times within an hour. But then she also keeps saying she's got nothing to live for any more, she's struggling herself with arthritis and various other things, she cant do what she wants, she cant even go outside if the weathers bad risking a fall. She'd been married to my Grandad for over 20 years when he passed last year so it's understandable that she now feels 'empty'. Then theres my other Nan, who has a lot of problems - mainly hypochondria and health anxiety tbh, but she does now have real problems as well, she lives in a cottage but can no longer manage stairs, the TV and kitchen are down stairs, the toilet is upstairs, so yeah she has to chose between them atm - the compromise is having a comode downstairs in her dining room, cant even imagine how awful that must be having to have someone else clear out a comode full of your own shit. She had Pneumonia over xmas which has just made everything worse, I'll be honest I didn't think she'd see the other side of it but seems to be getting a bit better. Anyway, she also now has nothing essentially, she daren't go out on her own incase she falls, her husband passed in 2011 so she's in the same boat as my other Nan of feeling like she's got nothing. Then theres my Dad, he's annoyingly 'upbeat' about everything, but I dont believe it's real, I'm sure its the same false hope that I use when I see him as well, lucky its only once a month or so. He works 6 nights a week to pay the mortgage he's got for a shitty little flat with his wife - how can that be good? Spending all the time you have either asleep or at work? Then theres my Great Aunt, who has an incurable disease now, she's been so religious throughout her life and she knows she wont survive it, she cant work out how her God would allow it to happen and she's very noticeably depressed on the phone (she lives to far for me to visit). Again, another elderly lady with loads of funds but nothing to do with it. Then I hear about a guy who's techniacally my Grandad (lost story!) who has many problems and knows he's not got long, he has cancer that cant be treated as well as lots of other things, and he's just waiting to die too. So it just seems to me that no matter what age you are, things are shit - and I've missed out on the fun part of life being a stupid teenager and getting pissed and shagging everything and buying stupid things and spending money chavving up a car to go and crash into a hedge. I realise thats not everything, and there must be something good after you hit 21, but I just can't find anything to look forward to or to motivate me, which is made worse by all these depressive people I'm around.
I have tried anxiety forums, but they're full of people as pessimistic as me though - and health 'pro's' who just patronise people. Not any good for me at all, I dont want pity or sympathy or patronising, I want help and advice on how to change things, which you dont get over there. Its much better over here tbh, I'd much rather be talking to normal(ish!) people, and the guys on here that have helped through PM or facebook or this thread really are invaluable and deserve thanks...so err, thanks!