So yeh im single again:(

[Matt]

What you need to do is go out on a Friday find a bird, f*ck her till you blow your load all over her face, eat something with protein. Handy to have a precooked chicken here, go back in there turn her over (let's face it, no one wants to in the eyes of a girl covered in your cum) and then smash her back doors in until you pass out/blow load/get hungry. Delete as appropriate.







All else fails you can use the line "does the cloth smell like chloroform to you" que passing out and chucking her over you shoulder. If anyone asks she's so drunk she passed out and you are putting her in a cab home. That way you also look like the hero