Is anyone teetotal?

[THE_Liam]

Right, bit personal for me, but I trust a lot of you lot to give me sound advice, so here goes.

I'm a pretty heavy drinker, as anyone who's gone rounds with me at a Christmas meet will confirm. I've had issues in the past with diving to the bottom of a bottle during hard times, which I've mostly got under control, but I still drink pretty heavily. 2-4 weeknights a week I'm down at my local for a few hours, Friday night, Saturday night and often Sunday daytime I'm on the piss properly. If I have a shitty day at work or an argument with SWMBO, I almost feel thirsty for a drink, which scares me as I come from a large Irish family, so I've seen a lot of alcoholics, both of my parents are but don't admit it.

I've never been able to drink like a gentleman. I'm always the most wrecked, always the one who breaks something, starts a fight or gets kicked out of a pub, to the point where some of my oldest mates won't have a beer with me anymore. I can't drink in moderation, once I've had 2 or 3 I'm away, and I don't stop. Drinking sensibly does not work with me.

I went out on the piss yesterday for a mates birthday. I set up a BBQ at their house at about 11am, and had a couple of cans after setting it up because it was hot work. I then spent all afternoon cooking, and people kept handing me cans because I was busy, genuinely lost track of how many but I was cooking until about 4pm and I never ran dry or had one go warm or flat. After the cooking was done I had a few more, then we decided to clean up and go to the pub about 8. I'd drunk the full crate that I brought to my mates, plus a couple more I borrowed. I walked into the pub with £40, and left with nowt. I have no idea how I got home, couldn't have got a taxi and it isn't far at all, about a mile, but the pub shut at 12.30 and I got home at 3.

Woke up about 7 this morning. I've felt like death all day, dry mouth, feeling sick, sides hurt, headache. The missus isn't talking to me. I'm skint. I feel hugely depressed that I can't remember what was according to texts I've had, a cracking night.

I don't think I have a drinking problem, I just make bad choices. I feel I need to make the choice not to drink, but I'm scared that it'll ruin my social life, and it's difficult when I'm a lover of beer, I even brew my own - I genuinely don't drink it to get pissed, I drink it for the taste.

Is anyone here teetotal, and how do you find it?

[Niall]

Liam i can pretty much relate to that. Ive been through stages of drinking a hell of a lot and got to the point where i thought sod it, not touching it any more. Went like that for roughly 3 months and as sad as it sounds, to start with it was actually quite difficult. Almost like a craving. Not because i drink because i like to get pissed but because i was so used to having a nice cold drink when i got in from work and i didn't find anything to replace it.
I found the best route was moderation. I still drink and occasionally have a bit much at the weekends but I'm happy like that.
Not only that but i would be concerned that i would still be near or over the limit the next morning!

Moderation my friend Its the best way!

[1616six]

Yup.

Haven't touched alcohol for 3 years, don't miss it at all, you WILL get the 'be a man, stop being a poof' etc but once that stops it's fine.. I have no intention of drinking again.

I don't drink, don't smoke, means I can afford to buy nice things

[THE_Liam]

Liam i can pretty much relate to that. Ive been through stages of drinking a hell of a lot and got to the point where i thought sod it, not touching it any more. Went like that for roughly 3 months and as sad as it sounds, to start with it was actually quite difficult. Almost like a craving. Not because i drink because i like to get pissed but because i was so used to having a nice cold drink when i got in from work and i didn't find anything to replace it.
I found the best route was moderation. I still drink and occasionally have a bit much at the weekends but I'm happy like that.
Not only that but i would be concerned that i would still be near or over the limit the next morning!

Moderation my friend Its the best way!

Thing is mate, I've tried moderation and it doesn't seem to work - I can't do things by halves, I'm an all or nothing person

Yup.

Haven't touched alcohol for 3 years, don't miss it at all, you WILL get the 'be a man, stop being a poof' etc but once that stops it's fine.. I have no intention of drinking again.

I don't drink, don't smoke, means I can afford to buy nice things

Cheers man. Do you still go to the pub? My social life revolves around the pub to be honest, and I'm scared I'll just feel out of place and bored if I'm sat there with a coke. I quit smoking last year after 30 Marlboros a day for 10 years and that was a great decision.

[RetroPug]

I went through a while of not drinking at all, mostly because I was doing a lot of boxing so it was to stay fit and healthy.

Currently I do drink, but only really in moderation. I do have times where I go for drinks with people and don't actually consume any alcohol though, and just stick to soft stuff. Really I don't find it bad at all, as you're still out with your mates and doing the exact same thing you'd have been doing anyway, however as I rarely drink large amounts anymore my tolerance has come down quite a lot so I can drink in moderation and still get a mild buzz which I suppose is nice of an evening. I absolutely HATE drinking to the point I feel bad the next day though. The alcohol does actually make you feel depressed the next day, it is a depressant, it also interferes with your sleep which adds to a low mood.

I'm not sure how much any of this really helps, but what I was trying to say was that for a lot of social things, they tend to be just as nice with no alcohol/a little bit, unless everyone is deliberately getting hammered. Certainly for a barbeque, a nice bit of food in the sunshine with your good friends is fun even when you're sober really when you think about it.

Have you considered setting a drink limit for going out? Eg. A maximum of __ pints and not going over no matter what? It will probably be difficult to adjust to at first but it might push you in the direction of being able to drink in moderation if you stick to it, rather than simply completely cutting it out of your life, as like you say, you enjoy the taste and brew it for a hobby etc. I know you said drinking in moderation didn't work though, it was just a thought.

[Niall]

Persevere with it mate. Like i said, i found it difficult to start with. I found what helped was buying beer in 4 packs. More expensive but that way i couldnt drink any more than that in a night lol

[1616six]

I live 100yds from our local!

I've never been a huge one for 'going out' if I'm honest so it's probably easier for me, I'd sooner go out for the day with the mrs or spend the money on the car.

[THE_Liam]

Cheers for the advice lads. I can't really talk to anyone else about this, my non-car mates are all big drinkers, I don't want to talk to anyone at work for obvious reasons, Gen isn't speaking to me and my family are all lady gardens.

[lolsteve]

Apart from the pub there isn't really much else to do in yorkshire?

Not really a big drinker so can't relate am afraid, somewhat of a lightweight in both booze and tomato sandwhiches. But do love being down the pub with chums generally prefer it over a night out clubbing so get why you'd be drawn to it so often. Have you considered having people over at yours instead? could limit the amount available and if you pass out who cares it's your place

[Danny2009]

Try taking say £15 to the pub so you can only have so many drinks

Just got to say no when people offer you pints hard I know, free pint and all

I used to be bad, go town twice a week and pub at weekend but after realising how much money I was literally pissing up the wall I stopped going and went pub now and again

I like a nice cold beer after a Long days graft but apart from a can every now and again I don't bother

You've gave up fags you can give up or atleast cut down on the alcohol

[devils_fuel]

I'm a lady garden when it's comes to hangovers, the old older I've got the worse they've got. The pain out ways the pleasure the night before so I now choose when I want/can deal with a hangover lol

I stopped smoking 6 weeks ago and went on the piss in town for the first time Friday and smoked 1 fag - I'm so pleased!

Save towards a holiday, a new car or another treat Liam, it will really help as your sacrificing for a reason .

My fag money is going towards a holiday

I hope it helps you mate

[toseland]

i hope this doesnt sound condescending as it isnt meant to, that sort of drinking isnt necessarily a problem, but what you described about feeling like you need a drink regularly after work, something stressfull is a problem knocking on a very rickety door., think of it like this tho, every pint you drink mate is another 6 months shaved off your liver, and if you have family (kids, wife, etc) use them as your focus point when you are thinking about having a drink, if nothing else.


but speak to your doctor, you already taken the first step in the right direction matey, he/she will be able to help you some more with advice and next steps,


and tbh f*ck what your friends say, you do what YOU feel is the right thing to do, and from the outside looking in this seems like the right thing to be doing

i dont drink often, and i have absolutely no...er, a good social life, lol., you dont need Alcohol to be social.

[Atterz]

Id say i have one day a month where i go bat shit crazy and get naked/arrested/say something i shouldnt. The rest i watch what i eat, do plenty of fitness etc. Maybe find yourself another goal / aim? 2 Years ago i wouldnt dream of actually wanting to go to a gym. Now, that is my release from stress etc.

[Pete]

A said moderation is the key, though some people can either do all or nothing. Personally I'll enjoy the odd beer/wine on a weekend and that's about it, Hardly get get properly drunk anymore as I'm usually up early for work or bikes the next day. The missus spends the entire next day hungover in bed and I see that as such a waste TBH

[Dave]

My downtime is usually spent drinking, but this down to the fact that I don’t have any worldly possessions due to being in a new country. I used to spend so much time on personal projects, like car, garage, making things etc, maybe join a club like RC car racing or join a gym or something so you have something to build towards.

I find it difficult to focus on personal projects without actually owning any tools/materials.

[bashbarnard]

I had a bender to end all benders last year. Never drinking again. Havnt touched a drop since. Plus if I dont drink I wont smoke used to smoke like a chimney, then when I gave up all all I wanted when I drunk was a fag. Just made sense to stop both. Never looked back. Saying this you do get ridiculed for a while. But once people know thats that

[THE_Liam]

I might give it a go, at least on a trial basis. I got the Merc as a reward for quitting smoking, maybe if I quit drinking I could reward myself with a Eunos as a second car.

I'd love to join a gym but because of my knee there's very little I can do besides lift weights, most cardio just causes the knee to stiffen up and swell. That's really when I started drinking heavily, when my knee went when I was younger and ended any hopes of playing rugby professionally, through the beer and lack of exercise I've put on 5 stone since that, which doesn't help the knee either.

[Piggy]

Well done for being brave enough to be open about it

Talk to your misses about it, I'm sure if you are calm and open about your feelings she will be supportive.

If your friends would tease you, thats not friends in my opinion.

It does sound like you are on the edge and you have done the right thing in facing it, but as said, you need to talk with your doc about it. Even if you dont rely on drink, which it sounds like you maybe, its still a hell of a lot of alcohol you are consuming which will causr health issues at some point.

Enjoy life! It doesnt have to be enjoyed while pissed. I never get that idea of spending a load of money to only be left with no memory, a fine from the cops and a bad hangover.

Much better ways to enjoy friends company

[THE_Liam]

I'm confident in saying I don't have a problem, I do have spells without drinking. I've had a problem in the past which was classed as "compulsive alcohol abuse" so I know the difference and I know I don't feel like that, it's just imagining the difference. Like next weekend I'm going to Leigh for the challenge cup semi final on the coach, so obviously I'd have a few beers because I'm not driving (there's a 30k crowd expected and there won't be any parking), then if Leeds win they're in the final so I'll be on the beer celebrating, if they lose I'll be on the beer drowning sorrows. It's also my birthday weekend and I've got Monday off because it's the day of my birthday, so I'd be drinking because of that. Just can't imagine it without a beer.

[Mattcheese31]

Right, bit personal for me, but I trust a lot of you lot to give me sound advice, so here goes.

I'm a pretty heavy drinker, as anyone who's gone rounds with me at a Christmas meet will confirm. I've had issues in the past with diving to the bottom of a bottle during hard times, which I've mostly got under control, but I still drink pretty heavily. 2-4 weeknights a week I'm down at my local for a few hours, Friday night, Saturday night and often Sunday daytime I'm on the piss properly. If I have a shitty day at work or an argument with SWMBO, I almost feel thirsty for a drink, which scares me as I come from a large Irish family, so I've seen a lot of alcoholics, both of my parents are but don't admit it.

I've never been able to drink like a gentleman. I'm always the most wrecked, always the one who breaks something, starts a fight or gets kicked out of a pub, to the point where some of my oldest mates won't have a beer with me anymore. I can't drink in moderation, once I've had 2 or 3 I'm away, and I don't stop. Drinking sensibly does not work with me.

I went out on the piss yesterday for a mates birthday. I set up a BBQ at their house at about 11am, and had a couple of cans after setting it up because it was hot work. I then spent all afternoon cooking, and people kept handing me cans because I was busy, genuinely lost track of how many but I was cooking until about 4pm and I never ran dry or had one go warm or flat. After the cooking was done I had a few more, then we decided to clean up and go to the pub about 8. I'd drunk the full crate that I brought to my mates, plus a couple more I borrowed. I walked into the pub with £40, and left with nowt. I have no idea how I got home, couldn't have got a taxi and it isn't far at all, about a mile, but the pub shut at 12.30 and I got home at 3.

Woke up about 7 this morning. I've felt like death all day, dry mouth, feeling sick, sides hurt, headache. The missus isn't talking to me. I'm skint. I feel hugely depressed that I can't remember what was according to texts I've had, a cracking night.

I don't think I have a drinking problem, I just make bad choices. I feel I need to make the choice not to drink, but I'm scared that it'll ruin my social life, and it's difficult when I'm a lover of beer, I even brew my own - I genuinely don't drink it to get pissed, I drink it for the taste.

Is anyone here teetotal, and how do you find it?

Welcome to my world . . . . . . . .done the above many times mate, having 2 sons and being a full time Dad has knocked me into line a little, still fcuk up from time to time though, basically you've got the Irish blood you're gonna end up like Besty and there's absolutely no hope for you, sorry . . . . . . . x

[Dave]

Those are dates which will indeed be better with alcohol in your system, and if I were you I would be drinking - but I would question whether you're doing it out of boredom half the time if your doing it most nights of the week. Having a big blow out once twice or a few times a month I think most people need, but to be going to the pub ever night would make me wonder if you've got other stuff to do at home/social/girlfriend and if you're dependent on your friends down the pub who are influencing you. If they suddenly quit drinking and started playing poker every night I'm sure you would too.

[THE_Liam]

I thought as much Matt, thanks for confirming that, I'm just gonna go crawl into a bottle now

[THE_Liam]

Those are dates which will indeed be better with alcohol in your system, and if I were you I would be drinking - but I would question whether you're doing it out of boredom half the time if your doing it most nights of the week. Having a big blow out once twice or a few times a month I think most people need, but to be going to the pub ever night would make me wonder if you've got other stuff to do at home/social/girlfriend and if you're dependent on your friends down the pub who are influencing you. If they suddenly quit drinking and started playing poker every night I'm sure you would too.

Truth be told mate, part of it is the fact that I don't have many mates that aren't big drinkers so that's kind of the only time I see my mates. Lived in the same area all my life so pretty much still the same mates I've had since primary school, most of them are tradesmen, and a lot are rugby players like me, and rugby is very much a drinkers sport.

I get very bored in the house. If I'm in with the missus, I try playing xbox or watching telly but boredom takes hold, and we end up going out, even just for a drive, because we both hate being indoors. Its why I'm getting a caravan to be honest.

We do have a poker night once a month, but that's another pub game...

[Mattcheese31]

I thought as much Matt, thanks for confirming that, I'm just gonna go crawl into a bottle now

no worries, what are mates for, thankfully being from Yorkshire as well you have the Liver of 10 (Southern) men

[Ruan]

I won't go saying I drink much - because I don't... I barely drink, I think I've had a few too many nights which has caused me to actually dislike the taste of alcohol.

My work colleagues do like a drink, but I've never found it hard to go down to the pub and just drink coke/water/whatever - I don't think NOT going to the pub is a good thing, it makes you want to drink more, but go down to the pub and just don't drink - have one and spend the rest of the evening drinking something else... If you're anything like me, you'll realise the alcohol isn't what you were after, it's the social aspect that you actually enjoy. IMHO the only way to do it is to associate the pub NOT with alcohol - I know for a lot of people being social = drinking alcohol = good times = when I'm down drink alcohol because alcohol = good times - if you get me... Once you break that idea that the only good times involve alcohol, I think it'll probably begin to fall into place.

If your mates give you the "fecking poof, get a beer down you" - just tell them to knob off, if they can't understand why you don't want to drink anymore, maybe question why they're friends in the first place... Unless you really are that un-likeable when sober...

It's probably easy for me to say this, I'm the biggest lightweight going - I'm 6'6 and can barely handle 3 pints without feeling tipsy. Ask anyone who's experienced one of my hangovers - they write me off for 2 days normally if I've been on a bender - went out in Falmouth when I was down at home last and wrote off the next two days due to me being so ill. I barely drink now, at max I'll have one bottle of queer cider a week or so, that's fine for me.

[Toms306]

I haven't drunk any alcohol since I was old enough to and look at how amazing my social life is....oh, wait. Being honest, I hate not drinking, especially when dragged to a pub etc.


For you, I wouldn't say giving up completely is the way to go, just makes you want things more tbh. Eventually you'll get into a really shit situation where you run out of effort to keep resisting. Then go mad and binge and end up worse off for it as you're no longer used to it. However you can make an active effort to cut down as others have said, take less money with you, take note of how much you're drinking if in a situation like that bbq, maybe even try non-alcoholic alcohol occasionally, etc.

[Dum-Dum]

Mate I know you say you dont have a problem but I'd seriously consider Alcoholics Anonymous or some other sort of professional help. The AA website keeps coming up for me as one of those targeted adverts on facebook (which isnt a good sign).

I used to drink to the level where it was actually becoming a problem but couldn't (wouldn't) stop myself as I was having a laugh till the night I tore the ligaments in my lower back falling about 10-15ft into an underpass, I was lucky to do no more serious injury or even kill myself and that was after what was a normal session in those days, 6 beers before I went out, a few more in the pub but then half a dozen vodka red bulls and they'd of been doubles, a handfull of pink drinks and then topped it off with a couple of bottles of wine. I used to drink like that every weekend and think nothing of it. I got home and woke up choking on my own vomit.

It was only 2 days later after sobering up that I realised that through drinking I'd nearly died twice that night and decided I had to stop and did so there and then. Didn't drink for about 6 months after that, still went out with people and couldn't cope not getting twatted so ended up taking loads of caffeine tablets and red bull to get off my face but having given myself heart palpitations that ainta good idea either.

I think one you've given up for a few months its alot easier to drink in moderation. I still get drunk but not so that I dont remember whats happened. I set myself a limit of how many I'm going to have and stick to it and actually the couple of times I've broken my limit because people have been pouring shots down my throat I've not enjoyed it.

Another trick is tapering at the end of the night, after 6 pints I'll start having every other drink as a coke or a water, stops you being so drunk you'll forget things and tends to stop you having any sort of hangover. I know its tough when your out with your big burly mates and they are getting the round in and you tall them you want a bottle of water but if they are mates they'll respect that.

[Piggy]

Why not try to go without for a month.

Everytime you would normally, stick a tenner in a pot...

At end of mont you will have saved some money and worked out truly how much you may or may not rely on alcohol

[THE_Liam]

My work colleagues do like a drink, but I've never found it hard to go down to the pub and just drink coke/water/whatever - I don't think NOT going to the pub is a good thing, it makes you want to drink more, but go down to the pub and just don't drink - have one and spend the rest of the evening drinking something else... If you're anything like me, you'll realise the alcohol isn't what you were after, it's the social aspect that you actually enjoy. IMHO the only way to do it is to associate the pub NOT with alcohol - I know for a lot of people being social = drinking alcohol = good times = when I'm down drink alcohol because alcohol = good times - if you get me... Once you break that idea that the only good times involve alcohol, I think it'll probably begin to fall into place.

Gonna have to try that, I'd miss the social aspect too much. I have realised how much I drink at home just now actually, so I'm gonna stop that as a start.

I haven't drunk any alcohol since I was old enough to and look at how amazing my social life is....oh, wait. Being honest, I hate not drinking, especially when dragged to a pub etc.


For you, I wouldn't say giving up completely is the way to go, just makes you want things more tbh. Eventually you'll get into a really shit situation where you run out of effort to keep resisting. Then go mad and binge and end up worse off for it as you're no longer used to it. However you can make an active effort to cut down as others have said, take less money with you, take note of how much you're drinking if in a situation like that bbq, maybe even try non-alcoholic alcohol occasionally, etc.

In some ways buddy I kind of want to stop completely for a while just to see how it feels... Problem is, I can say I won't drink much, but then I have a couple and that goes out the window. I'm all or nothing.

Mate I know you say you dont have a problem but I'd seriously consider Alcoholics Anonymous or some other sort of professional help. The AA website keeps coming up for me as one of those targeted adverts on facebook (which isnt a good sign).

I'm sure I'm not dependant on it mate, but thanks

Why not try to go without for a month.

Everytime you would normally, stick a tenner in a pot...

At end of mont you will have saved some money and worked out truly how much you may or may not rely on alcohol

This is what I'm thinking, see how much it costs me. That's what I did with cigs to be honest

Thanks everyone, been toying with posting this thread for a while, knew I'd get good advice from you lot

[RetroPug]

I might give it a go, at least on a trial basis. I got the Merc as a reward for quitting smoking, maybe if I quit drinking I could reward myself with a Eunos as a second car.

I'd love to join a gym but because of my knee there's very little I can do besides lift weights, most cardio just causes the knee to stiffen up and swell. That's really when I started drinking heavily, when my knee went when I was younger and ended any hopes of playing rugby professionally, through the beer and lack of exercise I've put on 5 stone since that, which doesn't help the knee either.

Have you tried cycling?
I had joint problems in my knees throughout my teens due to growing very quickly, to the point that one day the ligaments just snapped.
I was told, and have read a lot since that cycling doesn't impact your knees much but does strengthen all the muscles around it.

Not sure what problems with your knee you might be having so it might not be suitable if it is movement that agitates it, for me it was impact so cycling was the answer.

Have you looked into whether or not you can get any sort of physiotherapy through the NHS? I know it's unrelated to drinking but perhaps if your knees were getting better it'd help you get out there and do more active things which would help you cut down on the drinking. Also, if you lift weights with limited rest periods and the blood is always pumping while you're doing it, and do bodyweight exercises like pull-ups etc. it is still at least some fairly decent exercise and activity.

I also think that the idea of only bringing a certain amount out with you, and then saving the rest for a reward for yourself after a certain length of time is a good motivator.