The Random Chat/Insomnia/Procrastination Thread

[Grant]

Whats everyone doing today?

[burnmw]

Whats everyone doing today?

Your mum?

Sorry... in a rather childish mood this morning!

Seeing as the suns out I'm going to do some gardening, it's got to the point where I can hardly see my garden for the 3ft weeds

And then later on I've got to go and deliver my brothers treadmill. Had to go and fetch it yesterday from the other side of town (about 10/15miles) as he's away for the weekend with his Mrs but didn't want the guy to sell it to someone else. Anyway, thought it'd be a nice easy thing to do, f*ck me it's huge! Seats down, both front seats pushed all the way forward and it just fitted - meaning I had to drive home with my nose pressed up against the windscreen and my knees in my armpits! The sh*t I do for that brother!

[cpikey316_]

Gardening, planning a 'saw' style activity for the cats that keep shitting on my garden and maybe washing my car.

[declantg]

Cleaning and waxing the car today

[Anton]

Winning

[Grant]

Gardening, planning a 'saw' style activity for the cats that keep shitting on my garden and maybe washing my car.

Lol! Need pics/vids of this

[samass]

look what i found in the dregs of the forum!!!

yes, im bored...

[cwspellowe]

Thought you were coming to visit me, fucknuts?

[samass]

i was gunna, but my parents wont pay for my flight to london to get the nad, then the fuel to drive the nad up, and then back down again for pugfest next weekend... so i might drop by on the way back from pugfest next weekend just to keep you happy

[cwspellowe]

Aw really? Bbz that makes me so happy, we can go boosting together. The TurboNAD and the Meatwagon. What a sight.

[samass]

and all of Glasgow will cry and the sound of boost and can then follow the trail of oil to the inevitable explosion of turbo and or rods

[Coc-ker]

Setting ride height on the impreza and fitting 8 pot fronts and 4 pot rears. Might give it a wash too.

Tim.

[cpikey316_]

Washed my car yesterday! looks good today!

[Grant]

Washed my car 2 months ago, looks shite as ever today! lol

[Niall]

I once washed my testicles.

[Toms306]

I haven't washed my car since buying it.... Apart from the odd bird shit it still looks clean!

Makes a change after china and diablo lol.

[Grant]

I once washed my testicles.

Bollocks! They don't smell like you ever have!

[Niall]

I once washed my testicles.

Bollocks! They don't smell like you ever have!

Thats the stink bridge stank. Sorry

[Grant]

You mean you let the stank out?!

[cpikey316_]

Washed my car 2 months ago, looks shite as ever today! lol

This is the 3rd time this month!

[WiNgNuTz]

Cant actually remember the last time i washed my car. Needs doing desperately before FCS....

[Scott]

And before pugfest! Absolutely no time though unless I get up stupidly early on Saturday!

[WiNgNuTz]

Not going to pugfest....even FCS is beginning to look a bit unlikely! Hate working, then not getting paid for it!

[Grant]

Dont work then? Why you no get paid?

[WiNgNuTz]

The guy i'm subcontracting to insists on waiting from payment from the company he works for before paying everyone else, in a nutshell. Pissing me off, and its causing me no end of grief with covering bills and shopping. Not quite sure what ive done so wrong in life to deserve this crap.

/sobstory

[Rich306]

A guy calls a fitness company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Lisa xx

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day, 25kg program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely!" he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 kilos that week.

---

I was having a pretty big $h!t last night and at the highest point of struggle to drop it out, my girlfriend accidentally turned off the light in the toilet.

Immediately I started to scream like crazy, she turned it back on and asked through the door "what's the matter, are you alright"?

With a huge relief, I replied: "Nothing, I'm fine, I just thought my eyes popped out".

[WiNgNuTz]

Lol, second ones a good'un, first ones a bit meh though tbf.

[Grant]

Lol, second one is a winnar.

[LadySteve]

haaah That second one! Fantastic. First one is pretty funny though

[ben87]

Well hello all...anything new happened within last 3months???

I can ed has a sun coloured Megane now, just missing the compulsory sheep chequered flag decal on it